Mainstream Is Nothing

The Godmother!

2006-07-24T01:24:00.000+03:00

" I'll Make You A Machbous
You Can't Refuse! "

We've all seen a wide variety of mob movies (if not, go watch the first two Godfather movies now!) but they all seem to have one seemingly universal constant: a fearless, intimidating & deadly figure aka 'the don'. In my opinion, none were as memorable as Don Corleone, flawlessly portrayed by the late Marlon Brando (may he RIP). "I'll make him an offer he can't refuse", "Keep your friends close, & your enemies closer", and the list goes on! I mean is it just me, or do you find yourself wishing you were at least 1% Italian after watching one of these movies?! .. Well, except maybe for those Leslie Nielsen flicks..

Then it hit me! In some metaphorical kind of sense, we (the Kuwaiti/Bahraini/Saudi population) already have our very own 'Don' in the family: our grandmother(s)! Okay, so maybe I won't get a Nobel Prize for this epiphany (stretching it?); I mean for starters they're not even the same gender (..although..)! But the more I think about it, the more I want to go buy my grandmother some flowers just so that I don't find myself 'sleeping with the fish(es)' anytime soon!

In order to back up such a bold statement you can bet your pastrami I've come up with a dozen (plus 2) similarities shared by these charismatic figures. I just hope I'm not isolating anybody, & my condolences to those of you that lost your grandmothers. Don't feel left out if you haven't had the honour of meeting them, your parents (& you) will eventually transform into one whether you like it or not! Well, here goes:

I. They always stress the importance of family!

II. Outsiders are enemies until proven otherwise!

III. They resent outside food (or as our don eliquently put it: 'jungle food') & always favour home-cooked meals, preferably prepared by their very own hands!

IV. They force-feed you into obesity!

V. They almost always dress in black & own these ridiculously huge shades from some non-existent era (hence the amazing editing that went into the above picture)!

VI. Their house smells like mothballs! .. Wait, is that just us?!

VII. If they call you directly, you know you're in some deep s**t!

VIII. They have money.. Lots of it!

IX. They rarely ever go out, & when they do show up at a public occasion they're always accompanied by at least 2 members of the 'family' aka body-broads!

X. You never say no to them! Heck, you can't even contemplate it without breaking a sweat!

XI. They can never make friends with other 'dons'!

XII. Tradition is their first, middle & last name; with reminscing about 'simpler times' being their favourite pastime.

XIII. Technology just isn't their thing! (Hence, me having the guts to write this post!)

XIV. Their smile shares a schedule similar to that of the lunar eclipse!

Again, as always this is not to be taken seriously (spare me the drive-by's)! But please feel free to share some of your family's well-kept secrets :)

Murderball: So mind-numbingly good that simply calling it a 'documentary' should be considered a crime - it's an experience!

Psychology - The Abridged Version

2006-07-09T16:30:00.000+03:00

(1) If you love your parents you actually hate them. If you hate your parents you actually love them. If you've never met your parents you have commitment issues!

(2) If you're married to a woman, you're gay. If you're married to a woman & have kids, you're even more gay. If you're single & homosexually active, there's a very good chance you're actually straight!

(3) If you don't supersize your meals you're anorexic. If you eat chocolate you're depressed. If you don't eat chocolate you're a depressed anorexic!

(4) If you sleep on the left side of the bed you're liberal. If you sleep on the right side of the bed you're conservative. If you sleep in the middle of the bed you voted for George Bush!

(5) If you're too tall you under-achieve. If you're too short you over-achieve. If you're 'just right' watch out for a girl named Goldilocks!

(6) If you pee standing up you're a sadist. If you pee sitting down you're a masochist. If you don't aim for the bowl your name is R Kelly!

(7) If you lock the bathroom door you're paranoid. If you close the bathroom door you have fear of inadequacy. If you leave the door open you're a pervert!

(8) If you constantly make jokes you had a traumatic childhood. If you just laugh at jokes you had a 'normal' childhood. If you don't even laugh at jokes you never had a childhood!

(9) If you write with your right hand you're a victim of the system. If you write with your left hand you're a rebel by nature. If you don't write at all you speak too much!

(10) If you drive with both eyes open you have problems trusting people. If you drive with both eyes closed you're narcolepsic. If you don't drive at all you're an alcoholic!

(11) If you wear make-up you think you're ugly. If you don't wear make-up you're married. If you cover yourself up you're a terrorist!

(12) If you drink Pepsi you like the colour blue. If you drink Coca-Cola you like the colour red. If you drink 7-Up you have good taste!

I would say 'I'm interested on your take of the subject' but that would make me a stalker/rapist. So let's just say I look forward to your input.. Wait, does that make me a computer?

Lucky Number Slevin: Quentin Tarantino has competition! Or plagiarizers..

That Song From The Bit Where They Did That Thing..

2006-07-01T22:15:00.000+03:00

'What genre of music do you listen to?' - that question will forever baffle me.. I mean maybe long ago when music was classified based on which continent it came from, such a question could yield a meaningful answer. But in this day and age where genres are forever overlapping & constantly giving birth to bastard genres that sometimes don't even make sense, you really don't know where to start!

Back when I succumbed to such arbitrary measures I had labelled myself as an 'Alternative Rock' enthusiast for what seemed like forever, but only because arguably any song with a guitar in it could be allocated to that vast genre! And while I was generally unappreciative of all things (c)rap, I frequently found myself singing along to 'Rapper's Delight' by Sugarhill Gang! Wait a minute, that can't be right.. & how was it that I didn't own any Metallica albums even though I sheltered myself under a heading with the term 'rock' in it? That's when I realized that hey, just because I like this one song from this genre doesn't mean I have to like all the other songs in it! Heck, I didn't even like most of the songs on the album that housed the song I was so in love with that I'd already decided to have it played at my wedding! I like what I like because my damn auditory receptors dig the music, not because it's by this artist, from this genre or #1 on the friggin' Billboard for the last 10 years!

I feel it would be alot more plausible to group all songs that infiltrate our complex inner workings under two new super-genres: good and bad. Sure that makes the list subjective, but it's not like these new 'genres' are 100% objective anyway! It may be a bit too simplistic for some, but at least it'll stop 'Acid Rap!' people 'Methodical!' from 'Sacreligious!' inventing 'Morbid!' new 'Medievil!' genres 'Goop!' every 'Klack!' other 'Floss!' second!

But hey what do I know, I'm more into movies anyway.. Don't get me wrong, it's not like I juggle my eyes between 3 LCD screens & the open road while driving on the open road! My CD player hasn't collected dust yet, & is constantly being violated by whatever songs I 'buy' off the internet.. Does that mean I only go to Virgin to buy DVD's? Not really. I do attack a certain (legit) genre over there: Soundtracks! I will never really understand my obsession with these cheap attempts of robbing movie fanboy's of their parent's hard-earned cash.. There's obviously alot of bias involved (no way in hell I'm buying the soundtrack to 'Crossroads'!), but I usually find myself succumbing to the tunes a whole lot faster than to a conventional 'album'. It may be the variety, but I'm sure alot of you music gurus out there have some soundtracks you yourself treasure. So without further ado, here are a few of my most prized soundtracks:

Cult classic movie with a
very unique soundtrack that
definitely grows on you.

Forget the fact that it's one of the best
musicals ever, I'm pretty sure people
would hunt me down & kill me if I forgot
to mention this classic!

It's probably my undying love
for the movie, but I can never get
sick of the songs on this soundtrack!

One of those few soundtracks
I heard before seeing the movie,
only to be somewhat disappointed
after seeing the movie!

Hard to explain how as a teenager
I'd become accustomed to waking
up to this oldschool soundtrack..
until you hear it, that is!

Worth being here if only for the fact
it has The Cardigans on it!

When you have Natalie Portman on the
cover and Zero 7 & Thievery Corporation
inside, you just can't go wrong!

Other worthy mentions: Last Days Of Disco, Studio 54, Trainspotting, The Motorcycle Diaries, Spanglish, Tomorrow Never Dies, Mission Impossible, Charlie's Angels..

Any soundtracks you'd like to add to the list?

Sneakers: A movie so good it got me watching the special features, something I (unfortunately) almost never do!

Licensed To Thrill, Bill & Hopefully Not Kill!

2006-06-24T20:30:00.000+03:00

As the Genie from Aladdin would say: 'Seven (thousand) yeeeaars ... will give you such a crick in the neck!' It's been a looong road, & all summed up with 2 (somewhat disappointing) letter grades, you can't help but feel it's all pretty much arbitrary; but hey, if it doesn't kill you it only makes you stronger .. (Checks on biceps muscles) .. Or not! My humor's also taken a major blow, so bear with me dear readers!

Looking back, this journey has been one mixed bag of emotions-kind of like a Micheal Jackson song! (& it's back!) There's no way I could possibly chronicle all those memories in a single post, but would like shed light on the main (well, in my opinion) events. I realize the nostalgic value of such a post is reserved to team players such as doc lost, phatboy & possibly zizo, but hey I'll try & spice them up for your virgin eyes! Besides, some of these stories are probably funnier when you don't know how retarded we really are!

7 Learns To Rock - During a monotonous lecture of General Chemistry, me & a couple of friends decided to remedy our boredom by singing 'classics' from Michael Learns to Rock.. 50% into 'Strange Foreign Beauty' the 100% Kuwaiti professor throws our butts out of class! I still 100%'ed (well, almost) that class, though..

I'm Not Englishly Challenged - For the first couple of lectures in English 101 me & my Englishly un-challenged friends were allowed to leave 5 minutes into the class due to one simple fact: we actually spoke the language! Let's just say we weren't that popular..

I See Green - This one day, doc lost & phatboy (who, at the time, I actually thought were good people!) convinced me that it was totally okay for a guy to buy coloured lens.. Let's just say that the next day after going to college sporting 2 suddenly green eyes I came to the following conclusion: It is sooooooo NOT okay for a guy to wear coloured lens, here or anywhere else!

Low Budget Productions - Once that program that allowed Nokia phones to take videos came out, you best believe we took advantage of it! We started off making tonnes of videos with things 'disappearing'! But later on creativity kicked in & we started coming up with such classics as 'Dreams', 'Doctor, I have this stricture..' & 'Let's kill Babs'!

Stress-aholic - During those pre-exam periods my neurosis would explode into full mode & come up with countless ways of retarding my progress in studying! Let's see, there was this time I couldn't get songs out of my head, when my actual shadow over the desk would distract me from reading (where's Peter Pan when you need him?!) & numerous other neurotic dilemmas!

I Am Arabicly Challenged - After 5 years of completely English lectures & the rest of your life dodging all things Arabic, I can't say I was totally confident taking my first history from a patient in my 'native' language! Let's forget about the numerous 'badliyat' I threw; what I will always remember is that time when while trying to ask a guy how many palpitations he got each day, I ended up asking him whether or not he masturbated! For those not getting this, 'rag3a' is the term for palpitation & replacing the '3' with a 'l' is what this genius did! ... Maybe that's why he suddenly got another attack of his colitis shortly after our encounter..

Breakfast At Maternity's - Me & phatboy were coincidentally both still up at 5am one morning, & realizing that we had to be in the hospital in less than 3 hours we decided we go have breakfast at McDee's! I picked him up & we arrived there at 6am, but those 'Smiles Are Free' punks told us they don't start serving McMuffins till 7:30! Pissed off, we went to a local jam3iya & picked up what we felt was 2nd best: 'Jibn o Za3tar' & chocolate milk! As zizo would say: 'Cheeeeaaaaaapp!' :P But where did we eat?! We drove to the Maternity hospital (where we were currently stationed), parked on the filthy 'beach' & discussed whether that dog lying 10 metres away from my car was dead or not, whilst chowing down on our 100fils meal! Good times! :)

I'm No Tinman - During my Pediatrics rotation I took countless histories from kids & their mothers, but what I wasn't expecting was them to actually remember me! This one kid & his mom were in the hospital for quite a while, & each time I passed by she'd greet me & would refer to me as part of the medical team taking care of her son! It was at that moment that I realized this gruff male exterior (stop laughing those of you that have actually seen me!) houses a surprisingly emotional core :(

High Budget Productions - I finally got motivated (by friends, obviously) to buy a digital video camera, & while I haven't been abusing it to its full potential I will forever laugh my butt off watching 'MTV Cribs - 50 Fils' & 'Latino Lover'- HBP all the way!

Whaddup G? - I don't know what about me & my colleague (I'd say partner, but I think I've already crossed the threshold for acceptable queerness in this post!) screams ghetto, but for some reason any 'hip' doctor we're stuck with reverts to trash talk once we enter his visual field! Must be the way I grab my crotch while strollin' through the hospital wearing my gold labcoat..

I could go on but I doubt it would do my image much good :P Hope you enjoyed learning the truth about those 7 'stressful' years of medicine!

The Party: Ahh, simpler times..

Im-patients!

2006-06-21T23:53:00.000+03:00

You think you're free once the exams are over, but it so ain't over till that unexpected grade stings! I'm guessing yeah I passed those tests to prove I know nothing, but I blame the goodie two-shoes schoolboy within me for that fear of a pretty crappy grade..

Don't worry, this isn't all about my neuroticism, there's a little irony in here too! When I show up for my clinical exam on Monday, guess which room number my patient-to-be resided in?? Yep, I don't write Arabic that good-nosiree! & my student # from them theory bits was 70!! Do I have to spell it out for you?! 7tenths = 7 /10 which is the opposite of 7 x 10 = 70! .. I guess I should've picked a math major.. That or BS! .. Shoot, somebody already beat me to that one!

PS. The title is not a typo, & yes it's funny!

CQ: Cult-alicious!

I'm-a Yo Papa!!

2006-05-31T03:10:00.000+03:00

I
GOT
SICK
OF
THE
DAMN
VIDEO!

Trying to avoid the internet obviously hasn't worked out too well, but I'm glad it didn't because I stumbled upon this! It gets-a better towards-a the end! :)

X-Men 3: The Last Stand: 'Don't you know who I am?!' Classic!

There's Something About Juan..

2006-05-18T15:07:00.000+03:00

Not only did Juan's burger guarantee
countless orders,

But his hit burger had already spread
across borders.

The televesion and media
were no exception,

Even that Taco Bell chihuahua was
looking for redemption!

However, Ramon knew this
was no ordinary meal,

And the hidden ingredient
he could not wait to reveal!

A sugary paste or perhaps
some hidden foam,

But Juan's dirty secret was a bit
closer to home.

After each burger he ate
Ramon seemed to want more,

And after his tenth
he even started to soar!

'No, he couldn't!' was Ramon's

first response to the thought,

But a closer look at the culprit's
name revealed what he sought!

And so what began as a
simple investigation,

Transformed into quite the
unthinkable situation..

Life Is Beautiful (La Vita è Bella): Truly beautiful :)

When Ramon Met Juan

2006-05-10T17:25:00.000+03:00

There once was a chef named Juan,

He was a cheerful & chubby little man.

Famous for his delicé Juan burgers,

He was regularly visited by purgatory & his fellow purgers.

But let's not forget about the shady Ramon,

Who set out to make a name for himself on his own.

What Ramon made, however, very few knew,

And those that did wouldn't dare tell you!

For Ramon's dish was something he was secretive about,

And if he knew you talked he'd surely throw you out!

Riddled by Juan's success Ramon was getting quite suspicious,

After tasting his secret dish nothing could be as delicious!

Curiosity brought Ramon over to Juan's one day,

But until my next post that is all I will say.

When Harry Met Sally: You must've seen this one coming!

More Turkey Mr. 7?!

2006-04-28T14:06:00.000+03:00

I'm not one to travel alot. I mean yeah I've been on my share of flights, but I haven't become so habituated to the experience that I don't get goosebumps each time I check in my luggage at the airport.. Or maybe it's just in my neurotic nature to become a nervous wreck! But what hadn't struck me till recently was that I've never been on a flight alone; accompanied by friends or siblings, I automatically assume a passive role & 'follow the leader'. So, last summer when I got accepted for a clerkship I gotta say I was kind of worried about who I was going to assign that 'leader' label to this time! More importantly, who the heck was going to watch after my luggage while I went off on an expedition to perform a sanitary 'number 2'! Talk about your mission impossibles.. Since I'm now writing this post I guess we can all rest assured I didn't perforate my colon or anything, but I did learn quite a few things on that trip: never eat any fibre-containing foods within 6 hours of the flight (the so-called 'golden period'), my 8 year old (read: ancient) Eastpack backpack is not (& probably never was) cool & not passing out (since I can't voluntarily sleep) on the plane is not an option! However, I recall none of these memories with such vividness & clarity as the story I am about to share..

At my 2nd (& last) transit, I finally stumbled upon the gate sharing the same name as the ticket held firmly within the clutches of my hand. I sit my exhausted butt down & decide to wait instead of performing a thorough search for the right place to .. (TMI alert) .. relieve ma sphincter!! Yes, it's no secret: I was as constipated as Micheal Jackson is white! & 18+ hours of nothing but the filthiest & most claustrophobic bathrooms ever did done nothing to ease my tension, literally! So seeing that I was (supposedly) 1 hour away from arriving at my accomodation I decided to wait it out. Eventually, I find a way to comfortably position myself on one of the chairs & as I begin to accept this new posture I am confronted by what can only be termed as wrong..

I look up & right in front of me is the gayest (& I'm not talkin' happy!) looking dude I have ever witnessed! Yes, I know it's a free country, bla bla BLA! But I gotta draw the line when a tanned Asian-looking fellow wearing a short blue miniskirt & matching coloured flip-flops is sitting right in front of me & doing what can only be interpreted as a re-enactment of that infamous courtroom scene from Basic Instinct! I catch a glimpse of his toenails, & lo & behold they're the same shade of blue! Funnily enough, he shares an uncanny resemblance to that houseboy Chandler's dad was two-timing his mother with ('more turkey Mr. Chandler?!') in that Thanksgiving episode of Friends with all the flashbacks, hence the image you are confronted with at the top of this post (I don't randomly google up images like this just for fun)! Don't get me wrong, I'm all for freedom of choice as much as the next liberal. But when you galavant around in your beach clothes and parade what's left of your genitilia in a manner that would make Hardees' latest advertising campaigns seem legit, you bet your sodomized a** I'm gonna post about it!

So I got up.

Then I came back & sat down again.

Then I got up again.

Finally, I set camp in front of Turkey Boy realizing there was nowhere else to go.. But now I was stricken with a sudden sense of paranoia that he had picked up subliminal messages that I was trying to get him to follow me or something-dammit! I look up, but surprisingly this guy isn't as desperate as his equivalents here in Kuwait & is minding his own damn business. I sigh a gasp of relief & remain seated for the longest time ever (constipated & nauseated) waiting for that damn pilot to come & fly my butt over to safety, (again) literally! Just like these situations usually play out, the plane arrives 2 hours late!

I make my way over to my aisle seat (yay!) & wait while the other 5 or so passengers pick from the remaing 50 seats in the plane! I don't know why they even bother looking at their tickets, the plane's empty! Watching the flow of passengers pass by my seat I'm suddenly confronted by a familiar face: Turkey Boy!! I joke to myself about how funny & ironic it would be if out of the remaining gazillion seats his designated location was the one beside me! Hahahah-huh?! Why's he slowing down?! Keep moving Turkey Boy, keep moving!! No, you have got to be kidding me! Turkey Boy gracefully turns left (take that Derek Zoolander!) & motions at the seat adjacent to mine! Is this guy for real?! You got your pick of where to sit & you decide to park next to the homophobe/terrorist all the way from the Middle East with the look of constipation oozing out of his eyes?! .. Dammit!

The plane finally takes off & I have my eyes closed for more than one reason! The genius pilot decides to make up for lost time & floors it.. on a plane! So there I am, seated next to Turkey Boy, scared s***less-except we both know that's not true! Why didn't I go when I had the chance?! I'm firmly grabbing on to the armrest telling myself this pilot knows what he's doing. Suddenly there's a 'BANG'! Turkey Boy shouts "Oh my God!" in a tone waaay too feminine to be fake!

And that's when I knew..

Sorry Turkey Lady.

The plane landed safely & I actually shared a cab with her!

Ever find yourself in a similar situation, ignoring all the signs only to satisfy your stereotypical reflexes? Come on, you must've mis-labeled somebody before! Pregnant when she wasn't; a**hole when he wasn't; or in my case, homo guy when she wasn't!

Heart And Souls: Maybe it's the nostalgia talking, but they just don't make them like this anymore!

Google: n./v./adj. A word that can be used in any context, in any way.

2006-04-12T16:55:00.000+03:00

Yes, it is one of the (if not the) coolest search engines out there, but you also gotta admit that the name does have a certain ring to it! I'm sure that at least once a day, either you or someone around you shouts out 'Google it!' with enough enthusiasm to start a triathalon; but the word's got alot more potential! Besides making a great code word ('Dude, check out those googles!' .. Okay, maybe a bit more subtle than that!) it can substitute nearly any word in our vocabulary! So I've gone ahead and implemented it into a bunch of day to day terms & gestures..

'Howdy google!'

'What the google?!'

'Google me this!'

'Care to google?'

'Oh my google!'

'Google-icious!'

'Kiss my google!'

'You're so google (& you don't even know it)!'

'Fo google ma noogle!'

'May the google be with you!'

'Can't google this!' (optional Hammer Time, of course)

'These googles are making me thirsty!'

'Google ya later!'

& I also went ahead and edited a few Kuwaiti phrases (namely insults)..

'3ama eb googlek/ch!'

'Takel google!'

'3asak/ch il google!'

Go ahead, make a google! It's fun! :D

PS Special thanks to Krispy for some of the googles up there ;) (the less cool ones, of course!)

Girl Interrupted: Solid goog-erm, movie :)

Get It Made As A Maid!

2006-04-07T00:35:00.000+03:00

I can't help but notice how ubiquitous maids are over here in the 'desert'. Not only that, but a good 90% of them come from the Phillipines, India or Indonesia. That's gotta be quite a big chunk out of their native population. Don't worry, this isn't going to be a super-racist post attacking them (although that would be apt revenge for all those clothes hangers that have gone missing!), but rather me musing about the whole concept. I'm sure that over there becoming a maid in a Middle Eastern country seems quite appealing.. Well until they arrive here & get a whiff of the mega-racist & degrading family that just 'purchased' them :P But how do you go about preparing yourself? Is there a book you buy? A course you take? Or do you just show up & learn from your (oh so many) mistakes?! I'm assuming the latter; but I gotta say a course for maids does sound pretty do-able. So without further ado here's my take on a 3 semester course that trains you vigorously & helps you get it maid!

1st Semester

Arabic 101 - basic words & gestures that help you get around
Excuses 101 - how to create a believable story
Is That Doodie?! - a step by step guide on how to neutralize the offense
Dealing With The Kuwaiti Mom - concentrates on yoga, anti-depressants & death threats
Stealing In Moderation - covers all the rookie mistakes & some covert training as well
Revenge Through Food - subtle techniques with lasting effects
Using Your Native Language To Your Advantage - how to insult them right in front of their faces without them even raising a brow

2nd Semester

Arabic 102 - how to converse fluently in the language & explores the different accents you may encounter
Excuses 102 - how to get yourself an alibi/s
Is That More Doodie?! - the different varieties & most effective approach for each
Dealing With The Kuwaiti Grandmother - more yoga, more anti-depressants & death techniques!
Places They Won't Look For Bruises - those damn kids are bound to tick you off sooner or later
What You Can & Can't Hide Under The Carpet - different carpets, different techniques
Finding Your Was6a - makes a huuuge lifestyle difference

3rd Semester

Arabic 103 - words they'd never expect you to know
Excuses 103 - going the whole 9 yards with the excuse!
.. What The Hell Is That?! - you'd be surprised
Dealing With The Kuwaiti Father - martial arts, kung fu & birth control
Planning Your Escape - acquaints you with the underground maid community (it does exist)
Prostitution - well, y'know..
Finding Your American Hubby - intimately linked with the former

Now it's your turn. Care to add any classes to the roster?

Spanglish: I've mentioned it before, but just seems appropriate putting it here, & it was a pretty damn fine movie after all :)

Baby Got Back!

2006-04-06T14:25:00.000+03:00

Nooo, not that kind of 'baby got back'! I'm not that easily influenced by Western culture - sheeeeeeeet! :P In fact, I have very little, if any, of that aforementioned 'back'! Okay, derailing a bit.. So yeah, I figured with so much going on in my life, why shouldn't blogging be one of them?! Yes, I do realize from a practical point of view that makes no sense whatsoever, but gotta say I miss my attempts at imitating humor, & after all I do owe it to those of you that still make the occasional visit here, sometimes leaving behind come back!'s & hellooo?'s .. even the occasional threat! Those comments really meant alot.. Well except for that (misplaced) threat! :P Like I promised, I do have a couple of more posts to unleash onto your virgin eyes, so get ready for some new material!! As for coming back with a 'bang'.. Yeah that kind of presuure doesn't really help, but what the heck I'll try anyway :) Also, special thanks to krispy & nunu; you Pisces really embarassed the heck out of me with them posts, but I guess that's what being a friend is all about ;) Feels great being back, & hope my reportoire of "fans" still gives a subtle (if any) damn about my posts :) Don't know how long I'll be able to maintain this second blog frenzy, but (if anything) I promise at least 7 (don't ask why) more posts :) hence, literally: "& so the countdown begins.."

The Family Man: This movie is too good to miss; never regret the day I bought it out of curiosity :)

& So The Countdown Begins..

2006-03-03T09:58:00.000+03:00

... For now :P

The Professional: Damn good movie.

The Big Snooze

2006-02-22T13:33:00.000+03:00

Why I love Wednesday mornings at the OPD (Out-Patient Dept)

PS Gotta mention erzulie, doubt I would've started this horrific cartoon spree if her own drawings (which are actually easy on the eyes.. well, maybe not the last one :P) hadn't sparked those cartoonist-wannabe synapses within me :)

The Usual Suspects: Flawless.

I'm Not Cheap, I'm Cost Effective!

2006-02-18T16:00:00.000+03:00

We've all had our share of experiences with those who suffocate their over-stuffed wallets, which fail to ever see the light of day.. In other words: cheapos! However, they always seem to denounce any attempts at proving their stinginess, constantly re-iterating one or two stories from their past where they actually bought something of questionable value, claiming they're only being "practical"! Well I've had enough with all the lying, & have produced an outline to differentiate those that are in all actuality cheap from those that are merely cost effective. All are based (to some extent) on real life events, & lucky for me none of them cheapos have started blogging yet (probably don't know it's free :P)! Hope I don't offend anyone..

It's okay when you borrow money from a friend
It's not okay when your definition of the term borrow doesn't involve paying that person back!

It's okay when you remind someone that they owe you 10KD
It's not okay when you call someone up demanding your 150fils!

It's okay if you show up at a restaurant a little short on cash
It's not okay when you show up at a restaurant without a wallet at all! (& not because you forgot it!)

It's okay when you complain about an insanely high minimum charge
It's not okay when you disappear (alone) the second one of the waiters mentions the term 'minimum'!

It's okay when you ask if the refills are free
It's not okay when, after being told they're not, you insist that you're not thirsty anymore!

It's okay when you pay attention to the prices of meals on the menu
It's not okay when that's all you ever look at!

It's okay when you don't tip, especially if the service was crappy
It's not okay when you fail to even cover your own cut, forcing everyone else to pay an 80% "tip"!

It's okay when you go to Hawalli to buy some (ehem ehem) dvds
It's not okay when you walk out empty handed, disgruntled over the 'expensive' prices!

It's okay when you call a friend from a local phone because you're out of credit or your line is cut
It's not okay when you stop calling the second the phone rings, claiming you waited for at least 5 'beeps' before hanging up!

It's okay when you boycott the fridges installed in hotel rooms, which contain water almost as expensive as the room itself!
It's not okay when you quench your thirst by running down to the complimentary gym every few hours and helping yourself to a paper cup of H2O!

What about you? Any stories about cheap acquaintances you'd like to share? Vent away! :)

Sour Grapes: A whole movie literally about 2 quarters! Good stuff :)

A Guy Can Hope, Can't He?

2006-02-14T15:53:00.000+03:00

Yep, even I seem to have caught that contagious valentine's germ :P Happy Valentine's Day everybody! :)

PS. I did not write those songs down! Blame this guy :P

Gattaca: Classic :) .. 'There is no gene for human spirit' (gotta love that tagline)

Standup Comedy Versus Medicine

2006-02-08T03:55:00.000+03:00

Well into my final year of medicine, I frequently find myself (like many other colleagues) asking what if? Most of my colleagues wonder where they'd be if they had gone into business, while others dream about working in the media .. Myself? I constantly fantasize about going into stand-up! :) But looking at these 2 career choices, I can't help but notice how strikingly opposite they are to eachother. To clarify, I will commence to compare a standup comedy act to your final exam as a med student (damn, June is getting pretty near..) :

Standup: It's a good sign if your audience is laughing.
Medicine: It's a very very bad sign when your audience (examiners) start to laugh!

Standup: Using other people's material is frowned upon.
Medicine: Using other material (from files, etc) is your only shot at passing!

Standup: Laughing at your own jokes is considered a weakness.
Medicine: You shouldn't be making any jokes in the first place!!

Standup: It's more about the delivery rather than the actual material.
Medicine: They don't give a crap about the delivery, they just want a diagnosis!

Standup: As long as it's funny, you don't have to worry if you're not making any sense.
Medicine: You better pray to God what you're saying makes sense!

Standup: Questioning things (a la Jerry Seinfeld) is a good approach
Medicine: You should be more concerned with answering things!

Standup: Throwing on an accent helps
Medicine: Throwing on an accent helps you fail!!

Standup: Improvising is a popular technique
Medicine: Use improvising as a last resort only!!

Standup: It helps if you're a little drunk
Medicine: ... No comment!

Standup: When desperate for laughs make fun of the audience
Medicine: You never never make fun of the audience!

See my predicament?

On another note, whose your favourite standup comedian/s?

Chaos: Crap cinematography, abysmal directing, dodgy acting but one hell of a script!!

Drive/Tag By!

2006-02-06T13:12:00.000+03:00

Where are all these tags coming from?! I feel like the victim of some drive/tag by! Oh well, here goes nothing..

Laialy & Nunu:

Sex target: Female

1) Fun
2) Easy going
3) Down to earth
4) Not afraid to be herself
5) Independent
6) Honest
7) Spontaneous
8) Gets my humor (or at least fakes it.. Although, that would kind of contradict the 'honesty' part)

Krispy:

7 things to do before I die:

1) Really change the way patients see doctors (in a good way!)
2) Make my parents proud
3) Adjust my internal clock
4) Attempt some standup in an amateur club
5) Find my 'Rachel'
6) Have children & be the best dad I can be
7) Go out with my wife for coffee (almost) every morning when we're old & retired :)

7 things I cannot do:

1) Organize my time
2) Read the newspaper
3) Avoid the internet for 24 hours
4) Ditch a friend without feeling guilty
5) Lie when I have a choice
6) Go shopping
7) Stop imitating standup comedians

7 things I say: (been suffering from some Kuwaiti outbursts lately)

1) Haallllaaa walllllaaaaaa (in a struggling Kuwaiti accent)
2) Ay sheyyyyy
3) 7arakaaaaat
4) Ya intaaaaa(y)
5) Dooooooh (click here for an explanation)
6) 6a3 hatha yabee floos! (it's a long story..)
7) You live, you learn ;)

7 books I love: (well it's more along the lines of actually read)

1) The Street Lawyer
2) The Bone Yard
3) Fahrenheit 451
4) Rage Of Angels
5) Master Of The Game
6) Tell Me Your Dreams
7) The Cat In The Hat (a classic!)

11 movies I loved: (thanks for the other 4 Krispiya!)

1) Pulp Fiction
2) There's Something About Mary
3) The Terminal
4) Kramer Vs Kramer
5) The Shawshank Redemption
6) Get Shorty
7) Father Of The Bride (I & II)
8) Mrs. Doubtfire
9) Family Man
10) City Of God
11) Crash

7 things that attract me:

1) Good English
2) Friends addiction
3) Big smiles (from the opposite sex, obviously)
4) Movie knowhow
5) Baggy clothes
6) Female perfume
7) Girls that jog/walk fast (ie. are serious) on the mamsha

Jazz:

4 jobs I've had: (this is tricky..)

1) Fetus
2) Baby
3) Child
4) Adolescent (hey, they're jobs!)

4 movies I can watch over & over:

1) Get Shorty
2) You've Got Mail
3) Father Of The Bride (I & II)
4) The Wizard Of Oz

4 places I have lived:

1) Ithaca, NY (USA)
2) Al Ain, UAE
3) Kuwait
4) The internet!

4 tv shows I love:

1) Friends
2) Seinfeld
3) Scrubs
4) Lost & Prison Break (I can't pick one!)

4 places I've vacationed:

1) London
2) Dubai
3) Singapore
4) Dayton, OH (USA)

4 of my favourite dishes:

1) Cereal
2) Salad (any kind really, but no tomatoes!!)
3) Im6abag zbaidee at my grandma's (as a kid I had nightmares about it!)
4) Peanut butter & pancakes

4 sites I visit daily:

1) Blogs a-plenty
2) Hotmail/Gmail
3) Gamespot
4) IMDB

4 places I'd rather be right now:

1) Wallmart! (I don't care which one!)
2) The Cannes International Film Festival
3) Any comedy club
4) E3

Crash: Believe the hype, it's true!

Hey, Hello & How're You Doing?

2006-02-03T04:28:00.000+03:00

My phone blinks & that 'somebody loves me' nerve fires, triggering a smile on my face. There's only one explanation for that unique sound my ears have grown accustomed (but not yet bored) to: a message! I seize the phone & click on open .. Only to be greeted by yet another threat from the MTC mafia demanding I pay my phonebill within the next 48 hours! I mean it's not even at 50KD yet, give a guy a break! My usual response would be to store a reminder in my once adequately functioning brain to go perform the duty in the near future, but alas it has failed me once before, leaving me line-less for an hour too long! So I get my lazy butt off the same chair I'm imprinting right now & head to nearby jam3iya to pay off these evil-doers before that 48th hour is up.

So there I was, at the counter waiting for my receipt so that I could put my paranoid worries of foul-play to rest. I wasn't alone though, another victim was right beside me & patiently waiting his turn to settle yet another unpaid bill. Usually my memory of him would end there, but something unexpected (well at least in this part of the world) happened: he talked to me! A complete stranger opened his mouth and voiced his opinion about how mobile phones & their accompanying bills were getting way out of hand to me, in public!! Somebody inform the elders! I mean I smiled & agreed, the guy did have a point! But for some reason, I was itching inside for an answer to why this seemed so awkward! I mean this stuff should happen all the time; we're all civilized people, why can't we easily start a conversation about nothing at a place just like this? .. I guess I should mention at this point that the guy was a sayeq, probably paying one of his lazy employer's phonebills; but hey that makes this even more of a groundbreaking revelation! A discussion by 2 random guys from 2 different parts of the world in a jam3iya in Kuwait, when no money/women/etc was the trigger?! That has got to be a first! So this very incident got me thinking..

Why does talking to a complete stranger at an everyday place seem weird? I mean if I was back in America, I wouldn't have raised a curious brow at all-heck, I probably would've initiated the conversation! But over here, things just seem different. The moment I walk off that plane, that societal greeting on my face automatically shifts from a smile to a neutral blank! & I mean this is my country, shouldn't I be more cheerful here?! For some reason anytime I come across a stranger on the mamsha all I seem to do is judge the person while the steps between us get closer, & I don't even make an attempt at a smile or even just saying "hey"! Why is that?! I mean, if some complete random person greeted me with a nod I could only decipher that as a nice gesture & reply back with an even more fierceful nod :) So why can't I do that? Fear of being ignored (or as my friends & I like to put it: seeefon)?? The un-willingness to give up the mind games?? Stereotyping & bias?? Sure those are factors that apply here, but they also do across the borders & everywhere else in the world. Yet, for some reason I feel my (& other) threshold(s) is much lowered when it comes to a random greeting in a foreign place; my prime example being Rochester, MN last summer. I'd say that Americans are friendlier people, but we all know that's not true; we're just as kind deep down inside & those same Americans undergo the same transformation when crossing that border. So that makes me wonder, is it an environmental thing? Is it something in the air we breathe? The water we drink?? The music we listen to?! I'm just drawing a blank here :/ I will never really understand what initiated this snobby attitude to everything around us once we leave our houses (sometimes even inside them!) like some sort of trend. What infuriates me even more is that I constantly find myself a hypocrite to my very own philosophy, judging an innocent stranger just because I'm too breathless to keep up with him on that damn mamsha! Or too uptight to look to my side & smile when my inner competitiveness keeps me up with him at the same pace! & this is just guys!! Don't get me started on trying an innocent hello with a strange member of the opposite sex! I can't even maintain more than 2 seconds of eye contact with any woman between the ages of 5 & 50 without fearing I may have implied to her that I want a 100KD phonebill with her name on it!! I guess I can blame that paranoia on the good job my demographic is doing out there for us on the streets, giving us proud labels such as 'stalker' & 'rapist'. But I'd like to think that people would be forgiving enough to believe that an innocent smile from a complete stranger could mean nothing more than a simple "hello" just because we're all living and breathing :) Hey I'm not saying there aren't people like that out there, but they sure do seem like they're on the verge of extinction! So hey, next time you see a tall lanky guy struggle an innocent smile while you're waiting in line at the jam3iya or doing your workout at the mamsha please go easy on him, because that guy could very well be me (trying for once not be a hypocrite)! :P

So what do you think about all this? Or have you not noticed this at all? More importantly, will you join me on my quest to revive the random hello?! :)

Empire Of The Sun: An epic if I ever saw one :)

Say Hello To My Lil' Friend

2006-01-31T17:42:00.000+03:00

Erzulie's got this 'inner devil' tag thing goin' on; basically use Paint to unleash the inner you! Here's my inner 7 :) adaydreamer, ananyah, delicately realistic, krispy, laialy, nunu & swair consider yourselves tagged >:) Any other takers?

Been reading me some Premiere, here are 2 really cool sentences:

.. Tom seems really crazy over Katie; he makes being in love resemble courtside behavior at a Lakers game! ..

.. I asked Josh, "Would you go over to the Dark Side for me?" and he replied, "It was called our wedding!" ..

Cinderella Man: All of a sudden I wana be a boxer! Screw medicine & standup, I got a population in dire need of a hero! :D

What's Your Flavour?

2006-01-24T17:40:00.000+03:00

Where would milk be without cereal? Well yeah, there's milkshakes, coffee, cookies, peanut butter & jelly sandwiches.. Okay, I take that back, milk is apparently pretty ubiquitous! But you just gotta hand it to Kelloggs & the rest of the crew for truly taking advantage of the only fluid (to my knowledge) that can participate in an actual meal (& no, that's not considered a meal!) :P What would our childhood have been without cereal?! Heck, where would my life be now, without that easily conjured up meal to soothe my stomach through the morning munchies everyday?! Cereal/cornflakes/whatever you like to call it is the best thing since air! It's perfect company while you watch the news, read the newspaper, - who'm I trying to kid, while I watch Friends each & every morning! The beauty of it, is that it doesn't just stop at "I want cereal", rather it opens the door to another equally important question: what kind?? There's so much to choose from, and while a quarter of them are a ripoff of the other 75%, you're still left with quite a bit of variety! This post aims at categorically summing up all of the major cereals out there for no real purpose besides the nostalgia I hope it'll trigger in you :)

The Classics: Kelloggs "3adee" is where it all started! I only recently realized it doesn't have an actual name besides 'Cornflakes'! But it doesn't really matter I guess, as kids we were too sugar crazy to bother with this mundane (read: sugarless) attempt. Instead we opted for the pancreatic bomb aka Frosties! Is it just me or is this stuff mega-sweet?! & I mean sweet in an over-the-top disgusting sort of way! How was I able to digest this stuff as a kid? More importantly, how is my body still able to produce insulin?! I mean Tony's a cool guy & all, but ain't nothing grrrrreat about the diabetes epidemic we got going on here! People too busy elbow-dropping McDonalds to notice the real perpetrator in their own homes!! .. Moving on .. Rice Krispies were cool.. for like a minute! More like Snap, Crackle & Flop! I mean how were we supposed to enjoy the 'talking' cereal when the damn things wouldnt stay in the bowl?! They just refused to mix with the milk, like they had a life of their own or something! & that just made it harder trying to drown those suckers in the devouring bowl of milk! Talk about traumatic childhoods.. Corn Pops was more like it; not too sweet, not too light, just right! :) They were also great for on the go cornflakes without the milk, 'grab & gulp' as I like to call it :P

The Honey Crew: Now this was more like it! Honey Smacks, albeit slightly anti-gravity a la Rice Krispies, were much more forgiveable owing to their unique taste! & the leftover milk you were left with; it was as if they knew!! Next, there was Cheerios (or the Kelloggs variety: Honey Loops)! Now if there ever was a celebrity amongst cereals, Cheerios would win hands down! Forget the fact that they were used as life-savers in Honey, I Shrunk The Kids; this very cereal was paraded in virtually every episode of Seinfeld! Not only that, but this cereal refuses to get soggy instantaneously, & is also great for grabbing & gulping :)

The Choco Variety: This is where the ripping off began! I mean from the get-go there was Kelloggs Chocos (the one with the bear) & Cocoa Krispies (the one with the monkey)! This was the exact same cereal by the exact same company, except one was shaped like shells & the other pebbles!! Were the people at Kelloggs that desperate to rob us of our hard earned chocolate budget?! Still, due to the floating krispy phenomenon, I have to go with Chocos as the better of the 2 clones :P Count Chocula had a cool name :) But I feel Nesquik (the one with the rabbit) dominated this category! The best thing about this group: in the end you were left with chocolate milk! How could you say no to that?!

The Flamboyantly Coloured: Trix versus Fruit Loops? General Mills versus Kelloggs? Yep, competition was rough, but Kelloggs shoud've known better than to pit some weird bird against a rabbit, well back in the Bugs Bunny days anyway.. These artifically coloured gems, whilst easy on the eye, didn't taste that good; kind of like expired sugar (if there is such a thing) :P & if you're going to colour each trix/loop differently, at least make the effort of trying to make them taste different! .. Lucky Charms had one of the coolest mascots: a leprechaun! Assuming you hadn't run into one of those horror movies with these Irish demons, you couldn't help but be drawn to its.. charm :P But I don't care what you say, those were NOT marshmallows! They felt like pieces of compressed styrofoam! And once they were infiltrated with milk.. I don't even want to talk about it! If anything, this cereal was a testament to the statement 'looks can be deceiving'!

The Bowel Pleasers: Ahh yes: Bran! As kids we hated it, as adults we still hate it; but you have to admit, nothing agrees more with your gut! :P Raisin Bran was a nice twist, throwing in some deformed raisins into the mix, balancing out the bran overload! But Bran was just too damn branny for me; Alpen put that fibre to better use! Yes, I'm talking about that cereal box you avoided everytime you slept at your granparents & is always conveniently hidden in the depths of the cornflakes section at your humble supermarket! Plus, they got varieties: Musli, Caribbean, .. I don't know, I just find it an interesting change of pace from the whole refined sugar madness :)

The Others: I know I've left out alot, & no cereal review would be complete without mentioning Cap'n Crunch: Quaker's vector into the hearts of kids, & the wallets of their parents! I just wasn't such a big fan :/ Golden Grahams were cool, but had an insane affinity for milk, so you had to be quick with your spoon to avoid the sog-athon :P Frosted Wheaties were a favourite at one point.. & then there's that whole health awareness stuff: Smart Start, Special, etc. I actually used to be addicted to that Smart Start stuff, until I noticed the pic on the back & realized it's marketed towards women! .. I'm sure there's alot more, but that's what comments are for ;)

In the end it, I guess it all boils down to preferences. I will forever wake up wondering if we have any Cheerios left. What cereal dominates (or dominated, if you decided to grow up..) your mind every morning?!

The results so far..

On another note, laialy & adaydreamer have tagged me with the 'Weird Tag' (like I haven't been advertising my weirdness on this blog enough already?!), & so here are a few "weird" things about me:

1) The way I write (I'm right-handed, but hold the pencil like most lefties).. My handwriting is very legible though, which is kind of ironic seeing that most people in the field I've entered seem to substitute letters with scribbles :P

2) I can never end a phone conversation-never!! I just feel awkward bringing it to an end & usually use a series of "anyway, okay then, okaaaaaay, .." until the other person catches on & ends the call for me :/ Otherwise I'd have a pretty hefty phonebill :P

3) I can no longer watch movies in one go when I'm alone, hence no motivation! I guess I'm getting older..

4) I can never enter a dvd/movie store without buying something, anything! Otherwise I just feel cheated..

5) Whenever approaching a green light from afar I extend my five fingers so that I can initiate the countdown once it turns orange, to see if I can make it.. I usually don't (ie. I stop, not keep going!) :/

6) I love going to the jam3iya in the am just to abuse the whole 24 hour policy, I mean who needs gum at 4am?!

7) Whenever I watch a Friends episode on tv I constantly find myself mouthing (or trying to mouth) the words at the same time :P

The Fisher King: One of those movies you've never heard of with famous actors & award nominations, & turns out to be pretty damn good! Glad I took a chance with this one :)

The End.. Or Is It?

2006-01-15T18:01:00.000+03:00

Before anything, I would like to spread my condolences & deepest sympathies to all those affected by this loss & 3atham Allah ajerkum jame3an. Allah yer7uma & may he rest in peace, inshallah. Yes it's true, I'm actually attempting a serious post for once, because I feel that I owe it to our late leader. But also, I can't not express myself at the same time & so will commence to share my views on the issues at hand in all honesty. I hope I don't in anyway come off as rude or insulting (& if I do I apologize), but I respect other opinions just as much as mine & I hope you can do the same. So Baba Jaber, this one's for you ;)

I truly am a night person, but I do find myself much more productive during the day.. & that's because if I'm up before noon, chances are I'm not at home, where my time devouring laptop humbly rests upon my no-longer-for-studying desk. Since I'm currently enjoying the beginning of our 2 week "winter" break, I've been meaning to utilize this time to make up for all the hours lost on blogging &.. I think that's pretty much all I've been doing! My plan is to wake up early every morning, go to the library & attempt to finally put these delusions of disease to rest! It doesn't help though when I find myself crawling into bed no earlier than 3am. Needless to say, an alarm clock that can successfuly get me out of bed before 2pm fails to exist! However, by some stroke of luck, I found myself actually registering the news playing on the television (I put it on wake-up mode) about Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie's up & coming baby (I was watching Seinfeld on channel 4 last night) this very morning - I'm up!! I reach for my tactfully hidden phone, & notice that the alarm hasn't gone off yet, hooray! But for some reason I have 2 msgs.. I click on open, & am confronted by the news that has devastated thousands across our country, but what was my reaction? "Wow, poor guy.. (seconds later) Hey does this mean the library won't be open? Oh crap, guess I'll just go back to sleep!" I finally get out of bed at my designated wake up time (2pm) only to notice everyone suffering from a huge emotional blow, & only then do I realize I had no such blow! & that got me thinking..

Why does everybody react like that when somebody dies? Am I so emotionally blunted to the experience that I can no longer feel (e7sasless, as a wise person once put it)? Or do I have a point in being so subtle? I mean the way I see people behave it's as if death means the end, but I garner a much different approach: death is only a transition from one state of life to another. I mean that's what our religion tells us. So why is everyone crying when a 70-something year old man makes his peace with life? People come & go, but it's the memories we hold onto of them that makes their existence of purpose. So what if he's no longer physically here? I doubt in his state he was actually enjoying life, if anything he is no longer suffering. We all saw this day coming, yet we still act shocked & surprised.. But there's nothing wrong with crying, it's a sentiment that seldom goes unrecognized. What I don't get is why everything closes for 3 days! Yes, people should have the right to mourn. But what about those that don't? I for one, mourned for a mere few seconds before I accepted that mortality had its way. How am I supposed to see this 3 day off as anything other than a time to kick back & catch up on some unwatched movies? Am I expected to lock myself in & force myself to feel bad because another respectable figure passed away? Because that's really all Sheikh Jaber is & ever will be to me, a respectable leader of our nation-nothing more, nothing less. I didn't know him personally, but I did see his picture plastered everywhere. Sure when I was a kid, we'd have arguments over who'd win a fight: Baba Jaber or Superman, but that was as far as it ever went. I never used to sit down with him & have long talks, go walking with him on the seaside or watch black & white movies on tv with him; but I did do all those with my late grandfather (Allah yer7uma), yet I made peace with his passing away over a matter of minutes. Some may call me heartless for that approach, & you have a point. But then my argument is, what good would it do me (or him) to depress myself over something completely natural: death. I mean if I'm supposed to mourn 3 days over this event, why not mourn everytime a 20-something year old Bangladeshi passes away in the hospital, partly because nobody can understand him? Why not mourn a cumulative 3000+ days over all those innocent lives lost with the Tsunami? Yes, Sheikh Jaber differs in that he ruled our beloved country for quite a long run, but that only makes me respect him alot, not love him; just like I automatically respect every person I run into, until they prove me wrong in doing so. I mean how will these 3 days of nothing but mourning do any good? Yes I think economically, but only because that gets results. I'm not saying people can't stay at home and mourn, but why make it an offical holiday?

One of my friends once told me that in his country after someone passes away they have a ceremony, where they celebrate the decased ones life, & in my opinion that makes alot more sense. Like I said, people will come & go but it's the memory of them that will forever kindle their ever-living spirit :)

But that's just me.. What about you?

The Motorcycle Diaries (Diarios de Motocicleta): Finally saw it. Finally appreciated it. Finally loved it :)

Why It Kinda Sucks Being A Med Student..

2006-01-09T13:47:00.000+03:00

1) Your family expects you to know everything from day one, harassing you with questions like "What's this on my neck?!" Your reply is always the embarassing yet logical "Go see a real doctor!!" .. The s**t really hits the fan when the maid has a stroke & is last seen crying out your name whilst struggling to find you! & all you can do is shout (professionally) "Call 777! Call 777!!"

2) Your typical Kuwaiti aunt coerces & threatens you into becoming a plastic surgeon every single time you see her just so that you can hook up her cosmetically driven self! You just smirk, hoping amnesia hits her before it's time to specialize :P

3) Your grandmother, whose daily routine involves going to the hospital to socialize, makes it her purpose to spread the word & prepare everyone for the dawn of her grandson, the great soon-to-be doctor! Then you get phonecalls from complete strangers going "Yeah, we saw your grandmother again (click)", like it was my fault or something!

4) While watching tv with other non-med friends you feel like a total geek when you're the only one that understands a simple medical term thrown in!

5) You feel like a friggin' idiot when you don't get those terms!! Is ER for real?!

6) You automatically relate to someone in the cast of Scrubs! I'm JD btw-duhhh! :P

7) Your day to day happenings involve shaking the filthiest hands ever! How do I know that? Because I see where they've been 2 minutes later!! (Now you understand why my soap looks like that??)

8) Seeing people suffer & "expire" (such a heartless term!) throughout your sad 7 years of miseducation, you become emotionally blunted to such horrors & find yourself discussing the last episode of Lost with your friend during a round, while the poor patient right in front of you is fighting for air! I'm the Tin-man :(

9)You get a glimpse of the future doctors of Kuwait, who play jenjefa in the cafeteria, turn their phone's bluetooth on in the wards & play solitaire in the head nurses office!

10) You get a glimpse of the present doctors of Kuwait, who can't wait to light a cigarette once they're outside the hospital, maliciously interrogate patients for answers & blindly prescribe medications!

11) The doctors are constantly blurting out jokes in some abnormal form of arabic & you simply don't get the joke.. or it just wasn't funny in the first place! Either way, you fake a laugh out of sympathy, but that sadly encourages the clown to continue his stand-up routine!

12) If a girl checks you out while in the hospital you wonder if it's due to the influence of the magical whitecoat you have wrapped around you like superman's hood .. Then you realize it doesn't matter because you can't (cough) shouldn't do anything about it!

13) While sitting in the OPD analyzing the characters that show up from a distance, you innocently wonder to yourself "Could s/he be a blogger?" & then "If so, do they read my blog?!" .. I can't believe I just disclosed that information!

14) Whilst running to the ward in the morning, a few seconds from being offically late, a random patient stops & harasses you for directions! You, barely able to remember how to get to your own ward, try to explain that you're just a student & new to this hospital. The patient then either proceeds to give you the disgruntled look of an insulted mobster, or insists you still show them thinking you're playing a prank! You then have no choice but to point your finger in some random direction & pray you don't run into them again!

15) Other times patients will just walk up to you & give you a piece of paper.. that's it! You are then faced with the task of deciphering random scribbles on a crumpled up sheet! Using your acting skills you fake an actual interpretation & scratch your chin while planning your next move: a) try the whole "I'm a student thing" again .. b) lie to the poor guy .. c) make a run for it!

16) You wrongfully (well I'm hoping) diagnose yourself with a heck-load of diseases (the so-called medical student syndrome)! Let's see, so far I've had: diabetes, pneumothorax, measles, BPH (benign prostatic hypertrophy), TB, Raynaud's, aortic regurgitation, carotid artery aneurysm & others I'd rather not mention!

17) All your school friends are out there job-hunting/working, but you're still a f*****g "student"!!

18) After all that you still want to be the best doctor you can ever be, & not for the reputation, not for the money (well okay, maybe partly for the money), but mainly for that look on a patients face when s/he gets better :)

Pi: Finally saw this movie I've "borrowed" off my friend for 2 years now! Was worth the wait, because it was gooooood :) I wonder if there's a pattern to blogging..

Question + Tag = Reasonable Post!

2006-01-08T21:19:00.000+03:00

Question!

Can soap bars possibly be used beyond this stage??

Got soap?

Tag!

Good ol' swair has tagged me with the notorious 'baby tag' & since she didn't leave me hanging last time I have complied :) Who to tag? Krispy & FB, mcarabian, 3baid & jazz (since you were the only ones that actually responded to my last tag!) :P I'm expecting a compliance rate of 25% this time!

Back in my 'tree hdrd dlr' days

Hmm I feel the urge to start a tag myself.. I got it! The 'Soap Tag'!! Go take a picture of your soap bar/s now & post it!! :) Who wants to be tagged?! (Expected compliance rate: 0) :P

The Conversation: Old movie that's pretty slow, but more about analyzing the character than the events that eventually unfold; I dug it (my friends didn't) :)

Happy May Your New Year Be!

2005-12-31T13:01:00.000+03:00

Okay, it's the 31st of December & I don't really feel anything! Should I be feeling anything? There are 2 groups of people: those who feel it's the joyous final chapter of another year endured whilst others argue it's no more special than any other day! Personally, I want to be part of the former & bathe in the immense excitement as the clock ticks away, but usually find myself arguing for the latter in an attempt to rationalize my numb feelings :P The fact still exists that it is such a well renowned 'starting point' you can't help but think up resolutions, and then 2 minutes later wonder how many days (or hours!) you'll commit to them! Hey, as long as you're motivated enough to come up with a resolution is more than enough in my opinion, since it indicates you want to improve in at least one aspect & that's what we should all strive for :)

A fun New Year habit is the whole "see you next year!" or "I haven't seen you since last year!" game that we (I'm guessing/hoping I'm not the only one!) abuse on Dec. 31/Jan. 1 :P For example, 2 days ago after seeing Harry Potter & The Goblet Of Fire I confessed to a friend "I'm not coming to this damn cinema until next year!" & I enjoyed the whole Joey-esque moment where I observed each stage of isti3ab playing in slow-mo on his be-riddled face! You should try it, it's kind of fun! :) .. Obviously, one of my (many) New Year's resolutions is to be more funny! :P

I hate writing serious posts since getting a laugh or two is what this blog is all about (please tell me you noticed that!), so I will resort to stealing another stand-up line, this time from the up & coming Orny Adams:

I'm single, by choice!! .. Not my choice!

Hope your 2005 ending marks the perfect beginning to 2006 ;) I'm sorry but I won't be posting anything else this year.. (get it?!) :P Happy New Year! :)

.. & now for those who speak Yoda,

31st of December it is, but feel something I do not! Be feeling anything should I be? 2 groups of people there are: happy endings some may think, same as any day others argue. Be part of the former I want, but find myself in the latter I do! Think up silly resolutions you shall, but commit to them can you?! Enough is the motivation to change, to become better people we should all strive!

New Year joke there is. Explain it in Yoda I cannot! New Harry Potter movie, I did see. Like it very much I did. But better it could be..

Single I am by choice! .. Not my choice, that is!!

Happy may your New Year be ;) May the force be with 2006! :P

Saw 1 & 2: I saw Saw (I just love saying that!) & it was saw-eeeeet!! & Saw 2 is the last worthy sequel since Godfather II & that's saying alot! :)

I Is Literate!

2005-12-25T15:19:00.000+03:00

First of all, yes, I do realize the title isn't grammatically correct, it was a purposeful 'badliya'! Second of all (how come people keep forgetting to use that after saying first of all?!), I present to you the first (& probably last) chapter of the 5 year old diaries! Thanks to my inheritance of that grandma gene that makes you save up every single thing you ever owned, I still maintain custody of my first ever journal! Yes, back when I was a wee lad in Ithaca, New York attending Little Feet Nursery we were encouraged (which is a nicer way of saying forced) to keep a logbook & write in entries every morning. Since I was only 5 at the time (started it on 1st of November 1989) you have to forgive my spelling & choice of material! In what follows I will share a few entries, first writing exactly what is in front of me, then followed by an attempt to decipher the strange language :) I'll also throw in a commentary ;) Hope you enjoy it!

Don't judge a book ..

.. by its cover!

11/9/1989: I LOC PAPtS BACI HAV SMAT HOMe

Translation: I like puppets because I have some at home
Comments: Sounds more like, I have to like puppets because they're all I have at home!

11/27/1989: I GAT 2 BRthDAYS ANeDMY SAStR HAD 2 BRthDAYS 2

Translation: I got 2 birthdays and my sister had 2 birthdays too
Comments: I guess I really liked the number 2..

12/8/1989: I BARAG toe MARKRS to DeY

Translation: I brought (bring!) two markers today
Comments: Nobody likes a bragger..

12/18/1989: I LOC the PEPL iN the HOLO WR LD

Translation: I like the people in the whole world
Comments: Guess that feeling didn't last long! :P

1/3/1990: I will GO to A PLAS BAt I DOt NO WAts its NAME

Translation: I will go to a place but I don't know what's its name
Comments: That pretty much sums up every Wednesday night!

1/12/1990: I HVE tRee HDRD DLRS

Translation: I have three hundred dollars
Comments: .. No comment!

Ps. I don't know if it's just because everyone's talking about it, but this rain we've been having is groov-E! ;) I'm not a big fan of cruising in the car, in fact I hate it! But I still found myself buying a grande Irish Latte this afternoon and taking the longest possible route home while listening to the cd I just made last night & enjoying the subtle attack of raindrops :) Guess the Christmas Spirit finally got me! Merry Christmas to those who celebrate it! :) Merry just-another-Sunday to those who don't! ;)

Love Actually: This movie is simply.. Love-ly!!

You Tag Me? I Tag You!

2005-12-22T23:39:00.000+03:00

Every morning (if I'm lucky) I wake up..

I kill some brain cells watching tv..

But sooner or later, I just have to blog!!

Hey, I got sucked into the whole desktop tag good ol' doctor lost kick started :) I may have tidied up just a wee bit, though ;) But I do strive for neatness :) I'd go ahead & tag someone but the doc, il 7beeb, seems to have gone ahead & tagged every single blogger/ette there ever was! But I still feel the urge to pass it on! But who?! Ahh, the frustration of who to tag; you want to tag everyone but fear rejection, whereas you risk upsetting someone by not tagging anyone.. I've narrowed it down to those I feel (& hope!) won't leave me hangin' & seem to have complied with previous tags, so here goes: krispy dixie (show us NY!), fireberry (show us another angle!), delicately realistic (just take a pic of anything!), sou (show us the "evil" you rave about so much!), jackie (let's see how "neat" you really are!), mcarabian (you up for it?), caff (show us freedom!), samboose (you're too nice not to tag!), swair (is your room psychotic or cute?) 3baid (take a break from studying & capture your room's beauty!) & jazz-central (feeling charitable today? ;P) .. Hope I didn't leave anyone out, & if I did consider yourself tagged by default! :)

The Terminal: Who said that Steven Spielberg can't direct?! & who the f*** said Tom Hanks can't act?! :P

Tag Wars!

2005-12-18T15:45:00.000+03:00

Well, here it is! My desktop in all it's glory :) Thanks for the tag blasha & sorry for the delay ;) I was just afraid it would interfere with the comments I got on my last post :P Yes, apparently I still take blogging a bit too far!

Hmmm.. Eenie, meenie, miny, mo, I'm gonna tag dalalism & krispyo! ;)

King Kong: Me see King Kong. Me like King Kong. You watch King Kong. :)

These Flyers Are Making Me Thirsty!! (.. for blood)

2005-12-15T13:23:00.000+03:00

Words cannot describe how annoying it is when I get into my car, start the engine & just as I'm about to reverse out of my spot I notice some stupid flyer wedged under my window-wiper obstructing a good 25% of my view! I'm forced to get out of the car and sometimes walk to the other side just to get rid of that pathetic form of advertising (even if it's super small, for I am quite the neurotic one)! And as if that wasn't enough, there's never a trashcan around & I'm forced to litter in my (sarcasm alert) clean & beautiful country!! I mean isn't this considered some form of invasion of privacy or something? Can I sue these malicious pricks?! These "businesses" are sending off their minions, who for all I know aren't well trained in the art of window-wiper handling, to meddle with our prized means of transportation (..or 'cars'). I mean they're not just putting them on our cars, they're smudging their filthy fingers (& only God knows where those have been!) all over my damn 4x4 just so I can get the message that "Maktabat Abdel Rahman" is having a 5% sale off of stationary only today!! Do I give a crap?? Do these companies think that by meddling with my car and forcing me to litter I'm going to feel some urge to drop by? Well yeah, if I wanted to blow the damn place up!! I actually get so enraged that I blacklist that place & vow to never buy crap from them just for revenge! Funny thing is, I'm not even looking for some 'quality cement' or a 'training course in nursing' in the first place! Okay, yeah there are those Chinese restaurants or fast food joints that'll hook you up with a menu or a new offer, but we don't need one on every friggin' car of the house!! Believe it or not, some communication does take place amongst the members of this family.. ("Mom, I'm gonna go set fire to 'Dana's bakery, okay?" .. "If you must, but you be careful son") .. Well this was my approach to this scum form of advertising.. up till a few days ago. What was this amazing revelation you ask? Well, one day on entering my car ready to leave the supermarket, I noticed a guy putting flyers on cars in my vicinity. I prepared myself for some profane demonstration of bottled up anger, but when the guy walked up to my car and noticed I was in it, he didn't throw the flyer and run away, he just looked at me with a sarcastic smile on his face asking if I wanted one, waving that cheap piece of recycled paper like a treat. I laughed and just shook my head, confirming his clever assumption. Then it hit me, these "minions" are jobless (well until now) immigrants trying to make a living, & if all I have to do is walk out of my car every now and then to get rid of some flyer on my windshield, just so hundreds of Indian/Pakistani/etc men can support their families back at home, I got no problem :) All of a sudden that half empty glass became half full with molten gold! I mean I still won't do business with those cheapass companies too stingy for more acceptable forms of advertising, but I probably won't pursue that lawsuit idea any further! So whenever you have to annoyingly make a brief exit from your car to de-flyer your windshield, think of the cute Indian baby back in Calcutta you just fed (okay, I might be exaggarating a bit!). Anyway, I'll go ahead and close this in depth discussion with a great one-liner about flyers from the late Mitch Hedberg:

Whenever I walk somewhere, and someone hands me a flyer, it's like they're telling me, "Here, you go throw this away."

Remember the Titans: How could I forget?! Best football movie I've seen so far :)

Anger Management & Gym Clothes

2005-12-08T01:34:00.000+03:00

I like to think of myself as a calm person, and in my opinion I am.. Well most of the time, anyway. You see the problem with repressing futile anger is that it builds up over time, sort of like shaking a bottle of pepsi, except it's a much lesser provocation that leads to the eventual eruption that is your wrath of rage! And the thing is I realize I'm over-reacting, I realize the victim may not totally (if at all) be at fault & I realize I should tone it down a few octaves; it's just I can't & more importantly don't want to! It's kind of relieving cleansing yourself from all that dried up filth that unanswered offenses leave on you, like some kind of stench; you sense it's presence but can't seem to get rid of it, until that day comes when you have a chance to purify yourself & you don't care how.. Well there was my shot at being poetic, was worth a shot :P So anyway, I usually block those events out of my mind so I can go on living under the assumption that I am an innocent samaritan after all :) But 2 seem to be on my mind at the moment; the first will never escape my consciousness since my friends have to bring it up almost every other day; and the other just happened yesterday so it's still fresh in my mind, before the natural process of selective brainwashing starts to kick in! So here are 2 tales of me going all Hulks-ville..

Last year, my place was the place to be to play Halo (a videogame), and my friends would 'assemble' every few days so we could temporarily quench our endless thirst for nonstop gaming. Exams were coming up & one day while conferencing on the phone someone shouted "Assemble!" & since it was routine, there was no debating that a game of Halo would begin within hours! So 2 days before our OBGYN final my friends & I (happy phatboy?!) reminded the world how childish we were by killing the crap out of eachother in that Xbox game we had all come to love so deeply.. We finally decided to stop, so they left the room and went to put their shoes on. Whilst exercising my neuroticism by neatly packing the equipment I heard a sudden "THUD!" outside my room. My feet immediately took me to the crime scene where I was confronted by what seemed to be my couch.. Half-broken! 2 of these smartasses had apparently sat down on the armrest to put their shoes on.. The armrest!! I mean unless they had problems differentiating their butts from their arms I didn't see how they could logically explain themselves. I proceeded to cuss the crap out of them, but one had already run for cover, & the other kept going "He's the one that broke it! I sit there all the time & nothing happens; he came & sat next to me!!" to which I retaliated "You shouldn't be sitting there in the first place, it's an armrest! A f*****g armrest!!".. I could take you through it word for word but that would take forever; basically alot of swearing took place.. & I was the one doing it all (yeah, I went 'full-out' ;P)! Funny thing is, even the 3rd (innocent) guy seemed to be frightened & was trying to help fix it, while the other 2 were still cowering in fear! His attempts, although earnest, were pointless. Clearly a professional would be needed to fix the broken butt-rest! After shouting out every swear word I could think of in the condensed rhythm of a 20th century rap song, I finally said "Y'know what, just... leave!", & they did! Heck, they couldn't wait to escape! And while I was still under the influence of pure rage, I couldn't help but feel a little impressed at how I could instill fear in 3 people so damn fast! So anyway the couch was fixed the next day, but I was still unmoved by my friends lame excuse to which they still live by to this day! Who the heck sits on an armrest made of frickin' wood?! Yes, it still pisses me off!! Now, on a weekly basis I will be reminded of my super male-PMS attack that night, & whenever they get the chance those 3 will sit their butts on a heavy duty armrest and go "See? Now this is a real couch!" to try and rub it in. After all, that's what friends are for ;)

The more recent rage attack occured the other day when leaving from the hospital. The damn parking lots fill up like a high-profile mall towards the end of the day! So I parked in reverse that morning, foreseeing that some punk would make my exit quite the challenge. When it was time to leave, approaching my car I realized my clairvoyance was still intact: there was a car parked sideways infront of my car, barely giving me any space to manuever out. I didn't realize just how bad my predicament was until 10 minutes later when I was still wedged in! Whatever I did, my 2 friends (luckily around at the time) would shout "Turn left!.. No right!.. Stop!..", while I still didn't know what the heck is going on! So anyway some innocent bystander (a driver) comes by and tries to help but I was so angry at the time that whatever I said came out as a shout, hence he was greeted by "SHTABEENY ASAWEE?!! INTA CHAYEF IL SAYARA??!!!" with facial expressions and hand gestures that would provoke a monk!! My friend in the car was quick to point my fault, and while attempting to apologize to the guy, still blinded by anger, another shout escaped my mouth "MESHKOR .. BES HATHA WAINA?!! HATHEE SAYARTIK INTA?!!" .. Needless to say the poor fellow walked away. I eventually got out scratch-free, my car that is; for my guilt-stricken conscience had taken quite the blow :( Poor innocent-bystander-guy..

Okay, now for the second part: gym clothes! It's not directly related to my fits of rage, but this topic does sort of annoy me! For those of you still in Kuwait, what the hell is it with this new gym look going on with the Kuwaiti female population?! Since when have gym clothes become acceptable attire for college, coffee shops, etc?! I mean, I understand if you actually just came out of the gym, but with all that make up (and body fat) it seems pretty obvious that the last thing on your mind is the gym! Plus if you did actually just come from the gym-gross! Go take a shower before you go prancing around in public! I mean it probably started with this one girl who went to get a quick cup of coffee after a grueling workout at the gym, but was spotted by some seriously disturbed trend-setters that decided "Hey, gym clothes are even tighter than the crap we wear! Plus we look like we 'blay chest'! Hooray!!" leading to that vicious cycle we're all too familiar with! I mean does anyone remember the 'floaters'? Yes, those caps that would barely touch the surface of your head & hence give the illusion that they were floating! Some guy was probably just trying to protect his hair one day, but that got misinterpreted as some new look! Have these people got nothing better to do?! Btw I hope none of you reading this actually do that kind of stuff. But if so, please explain why!! Those of you not here in Kuwait anymore, enjoy non-obnoxious fashion as much as you can before coming back! :P

Finding Nemo: My favourite CG flick to date :) Oh and Ice Age is a very close 2nd :P

Keeping You Posted

2005-11-28T21:26:00.000+03:00

Anyone that meets me & my friends for the first time is bound to think we're a crazy bunch! I mean for starters there's our wildly inappropriate & misplaced humor (sushi anyone?), but in addition you might also feel completely lost in terms of verbal lingo. Rest assured, we do speak English-well, for the most part anyway.. You see, as creative humans some of us decide to invent devices to help mankind, others invest their skills in writing addictive novels.. Sadly, for me & my friends most, if not all, of this creativity went into producing new terms that make up a small percentage of our day to day communication! Still, this may be seen as a considerable achievement by some; but not when they discover 99% are the result of badliyat (in English: ..verbal typos?) that just stuck, and the remainder stolen from other dialects! Yes, I know it sounds sad, but eventually these words become very dear to you (well they did to us anyway!) & the madness sets in! Instead of trying to defend these terms I'll proceed to sharing the most popular in what follows; so someone get Oxford & Webster on the line-those guys need to get updated!

Bagga - This is actually the Japanese word for idiot/stupid (unless I'm wrong!) that me and my anime watching buddy gladly incorporated into our extensive reportoire; except it's now spiced up a bit and is a more subtle alternative to the word we all love & abuse: bas***d! Example: "Hey I saw the last episode of Prison Break last night!" .. "Did you get it for me?" .. "Umm, no!" .. "Bagga!"

Blay Chest - This term originated after one of our super-vain buddies started going to gym (like he needed another self-esteem boost!). Well anyway we're out for coffee one night (guessed who it is yet?) and while he reaches for his cup of coffee his hand starts trembling like hell! So we're like "What's with the shaking strong man?" to which he replies "I blayed chest today!" ... Okay, I'm not sure if he actually pronounced it as 'Blay' but this is my post so I can decide: ..he did! So for the rest of the day we go on & on about how Mr. Macho Man 'Blays chest' & then go "Huh!!" (while flexing) after it! .. Guess, it's one of those 'you had to be there' moments (man do I have alot of those!) So anyway the term has been generalized since that day and now basically means 'I went to gym'; so for example: "Hey you free tonight?" .. "Yeah sure, I just gotta go blay chest & I'll be free as a bird!" (optional "Huh!", of course)

Dooh - Okay, this is what started it all! A couple of years ago (yes, it's been with us that long!) my uncle told me this story about his senile Kuwaiti boss at work; apparently my uncle asked him about something and his demented senior, trying to be hip, replied with a confident "Dooh!" Obviously, the old man was aiming for a 'Duhhh' but his old school Kuwaiti upbringing just couldn't handle it! So I go & tell the story to my friends only hoping to generate a few laughs, and it did.. But then a few weeks later I run into a guy I barely know from college in the cinema & we start talking (isn't it funny how people you barely know from college/work suddenly become close friends once you're in a public area?! Ok, I'm dwelling off topic..), then all of a sudden he throws a 'Dooh' in the conversation like a casual mofo! Still shocked from the blow I go "Hey who told you about 'Dooh'?!" and apparently one of my friends told it to the guys at the gahwa (in English: one of those sheesha places.. that's still Arabic!) & they loved it! Ever since it has completely replaced the old term 'Duhhh' amongst me & my buddies and here's why: 1) Let's face it, we're just silly! 2) It does have a nicer feel to it, go on give it a try! I mean you can even extend it to suit the 'Dooh'-ness of the situation! Like for example, "Did you do the homework?" .. "Dooh!"; or in a more 'Dooh'-y situation: "You saw the last episode of Lost?" .. "Doooooooooh!!!" You gotta admit, it is more catchy! :) .. (Awaits applause)

Foos - One day my friend decides to go around to all our Egyptian friends (because it sounds Egyptian, not because we're racist or anything!) and quiz them whether they've heard this 'Egyptian' word that means 'good friend' before! As you and I both know that is a huge load of BS, but you'd be surprised at how many people claimed they actually have heard it before!! Anyhoo, the term just stuck and is now used as a much friendlier alternative to the somewhat vulgar 'fool' :) Think of it as a way of saying 'Dawg' when you lack the necessary pigmentation! Example: "Hey foos, how's it goin'?" .. "Good, good"

Full Out - We were out for lunch one day and one of my generously insulated friends decided to get quite the meal. So I says to the phatboy "Hey are you serious?" and he goes "I'm goin' full out!!" He was obviously aiming for 'all out' but clearly the closeness of the food was messing with his language skills! So as all good friends, we occasionally bring that term up to remind him how stupid he sounded that day :) Example: "Are you seriously buying all those movies?".. "I'm goin' full out baby!"

Mhmmmmmmm - We've all heard of 'Yo moma!' & appreciated its usefulness as a reflex response to any offending question, or even statement! But over here at Crazy Central, me & my pals like to keep the vulgarity at an all time low (we're also big on sarcasm ;P) & decided to use the noise 'Mhmmm' to indicate 'Yo moma' wihout actually having to say it. Clever, I know! Basically you pronounce it as if you were seriously thinking about something, oh & rubbing your chin at the same time is an option :) So for example, "Hey, where were you last night?" .. "I was with Mhmmmmmmmm!!"

Who Introduced You? - This one actually came from me! Me and my friend were in a deep discussion one day, then another friend comes out of nowhere & immediately sides with him! I quickly blurt out "Who introduced you to this conversation?!" while in my mind I'm going "Is it introduced you or invited you? .. D'oh!" So anyway this term has been known to pop up from time to time in our presence ever since. Example: "Friends is better than Seinfeld!" .. "Man, Friends was lame!" .. (other guy) "Yeah, Friends sucked!" .. "Hey! Who introduced you?!"

Still reading? Well now's the time I try to use all these 'new words' in a single conversation, so you don't go thinking I made this all up:

B: Hey foos
A: Hey what's up?
B: Not much, so what'd you do last night?
A: The usual: studied, blayed chest & watched me some Prison Break!
B: Ay sheeyy! You really went full out, huh?
A: Dooooooh!
[R walks in]
R: You studied?! What a nerd!!
A: Hey hey hey, who introduced you?!
R: Mhmmmmmmmmmmm!
A: ... (accepts defeat) Bagga..

Well there you have it! Now you can confidently jump into a conversation with me and my peeps whenever you run into us ;) What about you? Got any unique words/terms you'd like to share?? Now's your chance!!

Father of the Bride (I & II): Steve Martin at his best :)

That Awkward Situation..

2005-11-18T10:15:00.000+03:00

I've been in it & so have you, that awkward situation when you're out with your friends and a distant family relative is just 2 tables away! It doesn't always go the same way but you always end up regretting having gone to that place! Here's how it went with me last night..

We decided to go somewhere "fancy" last night, and to us borderline millionaires that meant going for sushi at the appropriately named Sushi Club, not so appropriately situated right next to some Mango-juice selling joint! We all arrive fashionably late, and find a nice table at the corner. 5 of us are already seated awaiting 2 more, when I notice in the corner of my eye my (concentrate people) uncle's (on my dad's side) wife's brother with his friend. Now I don't know what position he holds on mixed gatherings of 20-somethings, but I'm guessing that has changed for the worse after last night's series of events.. I guess I was the one to blame, having pulled the trigger on my respected reputation in the family by getting up and forcing a hello out of him. It is only apparent to me now that what had hit me as rude unawareness from his side (avoiding saying hello) was him actually trying to save me from comitting that fatal error, which escaped from the confinements of my vocal cords the second I got back on my seat a mere 4 meters away: "Guys, there's a family member here so try to tone it down a bit." In my mind, this seemed like a harmless thing to say, after all I don't smoke & hide it from my parents, am not having a relationship with anyone on the table and the friends I was with were well-behaved people, or so I thought.. It starts with a high pitched cacophony asking who this guy is and where he's seated, you'd think they would've noticed me leaving the table and standing right in front of them talking to a complete stranger for a couple of minutes, but oh no they don't notice that stuff, only extremely minute details like the name of some '60s song going on in the background! After I fail trying to contain the excitement and reveal the family insider, a side of my friends erupts that I have literally never seen before.. One of them begins by showing us a keychain he got that looks like some kind of a whistle while announcing not so subtly "It's a rape whistle!", provoking the obvious response "For whom (that's right), your victims?!" I begin to sense some uneasiness in the atmosphere, & not from our table! A few minutes later the 2 other friends finally arrive, then one of them suddenly (& totally unexpectedly) begins to massage one of the girls shoulders (while still standing)!! In my whole social lifetime I have never seen one of my friends massage another in a public arena, & this one being given by a self-proclaimed hater of public expression to a non-fan of amateur massages riddled the crap out of me! I try to indicate to the doofus that we are in fact in Kuwait and not some low-budget porno flick! He sits himself down, only to begin provoking the other female on the table who passionately shouts "I'm gonna kill you!!" followed by a barrage of misplaced punches and kicks, most of which land on me! I was too in shock to feel the hits, but even now those bruises don't compare that burning sensation in my head where I sensed my (not for long) relative's glaring eyes focused at the whole damn time! Rape whistles, out of the blue massages & death threats aside the night was pretty uneventful, until the shower of inevitable swearing began: "S**t!", "B*****d!" & "A*****e!" were the highlights of the show, but many more made special appearances. The whole time, I just sat there crouched over shaking my head in denial whilst repeatedly mumbling to myself "It's okay, I can make new family.." We finally decided to take the madness into the confinements of one of the private rooms, but sadly the damage had already been done..

What about your awkward situations? Think they can compare to mine?? Good luck!

Mrs Doubtfire: One of those movies I can look back at & actually understand why I loved it so much as a kid :)

20 Ways To Tell If You've Been Taking Blogging A Bit Too Far..

2005-11-11T14:01:00.000+03:00

Before all hell breaks loose I want to point out that the point of this post isn't to point fingers or anything, it's just so we can laugh about the silly things we and other people (or in this case, me) do :P

1) You spend at least 2 hours a day blog-hopping

2) You actually use the term blog-hopping!

3) You re-read each new post you submit a dozen times searching for small grammatical errors that people might judge you for

4) Once you submit a new post you literally check your blog every 20 minutes hoping to find a new comment/s

5) You actually have to refresh your browser for new comments to appear because you've been going to the same damn page (your blog) waaay too often

6) You constantly check the number of profile views you have and compare it with the number of views your friends and other fellow bloggers have got, then curse them for beating you and wonder how to extend the horizons of your blog

7) You realize that profile views are updated every few days and not immediately!

8) You write comments on blogs of complete strangers for the sole purpose of hoping a whole new circle of bloggers will discover your blog, which means more comments and profile views!

9) Whenever you submit a new post, any conversation with a friend begins with "Have you seen my new post?" or "I finally posted something on my blog!"

10) You wait a couple of days before adding a new post until your last post gets the maximum number of comments, & you try to convince yourself it's an old blogging secret

11) After each post, you constantly think of a topic for your next post while in the bathroom/exercising/driving/etc

12) For any event that occurs in your day-to-day life you wonder to yourself "Can I blog about this?"

13) 99% of the time you answer that question with "Nah, people will find it too boring!"

14) You like to refer to frequent visitors of your blog as fans

15) You realize that's one of the most pathetic things you've ever done.. Yet, you still get some comfort thinking that you actually have fans!

16) When you go out you actually turn your bluetooth on (for once) and use your blogging name, hoping a fan might be somewhere nearby

17) When your friends start their own blogs you make daily checks to see how much comments their latest post got, then casually compare it to yours

18) You do a small victory dance when you discover they still get less comments, even though they just started blogging 2 days ago!

19) You sometimes wonder if blogging can be full-time job

20) You write a post about taking blogging too far!

At one point or another, I have suffered from all the above ailments :( What about you?

Kramer vs Kramer: This movie got a bunch of Oscars & for once I actually agree with the Academy! Yes it's old, but hasn't aged a bit (unless you get it on vhs ... cheapskate ;P) & very very veeeeeeery good!

The Jacket & I

2005-11-02T10:42:00.000+03:00

First of all, I want to wish everyone a happy Eid :) & try not to blow all those 3eidiyas at once :P Now, what better way to prep you for Eid than to put a smile on your face? And what better way to do that than to reveal one of my (many) embarassing stories? Just remember, this was a very very long time ago...

My uncle was studying abroad & was coming back to good ol' Kuwait during one of his breaks. Don't get me wrong, I missed the guy & all, but the main reason I was really excited about his arrival was to see what he had gotten me! Usually, he would get me a bunch of birthday cards from Hallmark or something (I went through this card obsession phase) but something told me (let's not call it intuition) this time would be different! So it was the night of the big day and his plane was arriving late, so the verdict was for me to stay at home and see him the next day. I didn't really mind, the gift unveiling ceremony could wait another day.. I went to bed early that night, fueled by the excitement of what my dear uncle could have gotten me, & with the hope of waking up the next morning to be greeted by whatever it is his not-so-hard earned money had departed his wallet for.... (eyes opening) Morning already? I look at the edge of my bed & see something suspicious hanging.. It looks like a coat! No, I don't want to go check it out now while I'm still a bit sleepy, I wanna be fully awake when I finally give it a thorough examination... (eyes open again) Alright, okay it's time!! I jump out of bed and-oh what's this?? It is a jacket! Hmm, but isn't it kind of long? Oh wait a second, didn't Keanu Reeves wear one of those in that Matrix movie? Cool cool.. So I'm curious about the make of the jacket and manuever my way to the tag.. Williams? I'm not sure but don't they make women's clothes?? But wait he just came from the States, surely they must have a male branch over there.. So there I am staring at this long, dark gray wool jacket and I'm totally fine with it except for one small thing: it had this fur collar thing goin' on.. But luckily they were detatchable, & so they weren't a mandatory part of the package :) So it was finally time to test this baby out! I reach into my wardrobe & prepare a few combinations to try with this jacket, and believe it or not it actually, sort of, kind of, looks pretty cool! Then I decide to take it one step further: the fur collars! And I can't believe I'm saying this but while a little disturbing, I felt that I could actually pull it off, even with those fur collars on!! Sure, some of the Kuwaiti population may not be ready for this new trend, but I didn't mind being the vector! There I go, trying out the jacket with each of my oufits; with fur & without! ... So I finally finish testing out the jacket and am totally psyched about wearing it that same night! I jump onto my couch and lie there staring at the ceiling, counting the seconds, eager to make a public appearance in my new attire! Suddenly, my mom walks into my room. I open my mouth ready to blurt out the words "check out my new jacket!", but before I can ennunciate a single syllable, with one swift movement she takes the jacket and walks out the door. (horror!) My mind is racing to find an alternate explanation: maybe she's taking it to get cleaned, maybe she wants to have it ironed, maybe the woman is demented!! But alas, there is only one logical explanation: for the last 30 minutes I was flamboyantly prancing around my room in a woman's coat.. & enjoying it!! A plethora of images & sounds attack my neurons, but none as vivid as the 3 letter mono-syllabic term that also means "merry, light-hearted or brightly coloured" (not that there's anything wrong with that!)... And I was so happy with my new coat.. So there I sit, dazed & confused, eyes wide open & staring into oblivion; something suddenly catches the corner of my eye in the far corners of my room.. (zooming) A box of birthday cards! I guess it's pretty obvious what my stance on male fashion is after that experience: polo shirts & baggy pants-full stop!

What about you fellow blogger/ette? Do you have an embarassing story to share?? Come on, don't leave me hangin' here!

Zoolander: This post seems to remind me of this movie, & I really do love it :) "One look?!"

Chikin Di China Da Chinese Taggin'

2005-11-01T19:49:00.000+03:00

Laialy thanks for the tag & sorry for being late (but it's Ramadan), & fellow bloggers/ettes sorry if reading tags just isn't your thing :P

10 Favorites

Color: Blue
Food: Cold pizza :P
Month: December
Song: At the moment, Bucketheads - The Bomb
Movie: Just one? I guess I'll have to go with Pulp Fiction :)
Sport: Does Halo2 count?
Season: Winter
Day of the week: Wednesdays!!
Ice Cream Flavor: Vanilla
Time of day: The time I'm in bed sleeping :)

9 Currents

Mood: Happy :) (& stuffed!)
Taste: That's disgusting..
Clothes: PJ's!! (t-shirt & imbakar pants :P)
Desktop: Halo2!
Toenail: Can't believe I actually looked - normal!
Time: 7:32 pm
Surroundings: Books & dvds
Thoughts: Who did I give Halo2 to?

8 Firsts

Best Friend: Umm, Dustin I think (but that was waaaay back in Little Feet Kindergarten)
Kiss: I'm gonna assume this includes cheek-kisses, & so probably my mom :)
Screen Name: 7tenths, I think..
Pet: Sea Monkeys!
Piercing: Nothing yet :P
Crush: Too many to remember the first :P
Album: Blur - Parklife

7 Lasts

Cigarette: Never :)
Drink: H20
Car Ride: Coming back home, exhausted :(
Kiss: Hmmm.. It's been a while :( (even cheek-kisses!)
Movie Seen: John Q (sniff)
Phone Call: 107 (those MTC crooks are robbing me blind!)
CD played: One of my mixed CDs (Mos Def, Black Eyed Peas, Muse, Beck, ... Emma Bunton!)

6 Have You Evers

Dated one of your best guy/girl friends: No
Broken the law: No
Been arrested: No
Skinny dipped: Naked?! No!
Been on TV: Actually yes :) they were taping this thing in school about the threat of Saddam (post-Gulf War) & airing it in England (supposedly)
Kissed someone you didn't know: No

5 Things

You're wearing: I already told you, my PJs!
You've done today: Went to the hospital, chilled in the guest waiting room while avoiding the doctors, came home, watched the rest of Desperate Housewives ep5, slept (pre-fo6or sleep is the best!), ate fo6or & now writing this post :)
You can hear right now: Supergrass - Alright
You can't live without: Car, mobile phone, money, tv, Halo2, DSL, friends.. oh, and family :)
You can do when you're bored: Realize I'm bored :P

4 Places You've Been Today

1) Bedroom
2) Car
3) Hospital
4) Bathroom (slow day!)

3 People You Can Tell Anything To

1) Babs
2) Rami
3) Azooz (not blogging yet)

2 Choices

Black or White: White
Hot or Cold: Cold

1 Thing You Want To Do Before You Die

Make at least one person's life better :) (hey you, stop smoking!)

I Am Sam: Clichéd? Maybe. Depressing? Yes. Great movie? Definitely!

Is It Just Me Or...

2005-10-27T03:16:00.000+03:00

1) Does cold pizza taste better than hot?
2) Does the Ba6reek sign look alooot like a McDonalds sign tilted 90 degrees clockwise?
3) Is the maron glacé cake from Opra the best cake ever?!
4) Is Extra gum a breath-o-phobics saviour?
5) Is Ramadan a breath-o-phobics worst nightmare?!
6) Did Dawood Hussein do the best Jackson family spoof ever?!
7) Is stuffed crust overrated?
8) Is sleep a necessary evil?
9) Does an alarm clock that successfully gets you out of bed on time fail to exist?!
10) Is sleeping on your back literally impossible?!
11) Is nobody visiting my good friend Rami's blog? (come on guys, give the poor kid a break :P)
12) Is there a shortage of good Halo2 players in this country?
13) Is the weather getting rather nice?
14) Is Martin Scorcese a bit overrated? (I am so gonna regret saying that!)
15) Is the Maury show always about some pregnant teenager?!
16) Are sitcoms without laughtracks the next big thing?
17) Is Kevin Spacey one of the best actors of our time?
18) Does Sadoh 3 actually seem real? (Kuwaiti's can't act that good!)
19) Is the guy with the funny hair on Sadoh 3 a little too touchy feely with the celebs?
20) Is DSL no longer an option but a necessity?
21) Are we extremely dependent on our mobile phones?
22) Is Pablo Francisco the funniest standup comedian since Eddie Murphy?
23) Is Lost season 2 not as good as season 1 (so far)?
24) Is Joey season 2 a helluva lot better than season 1 ever was?
25) Was Friends the best show ever full-stop?
26) Was Yan-Can-Cook (& so can you!) kind of cool?
27) Were Trey & Muriel on channel V the coolest vj's ever?
28) Has the ipod taken over the world?
29) Does music really help when exercising?
30) Were the '60s cool? (well it seems that way in the movies)
31) Is Ryan Phillipe highly underrated?
32) Is his wife Reese highly overrated?
33) Are Friday's the worst day of the week?
34) Is Eid only cool because grownups give us money?
35) Is it about time I finished this ambitious post?!

I'm sure there was more I wanted to add, oh well.. Please feel free to share your thoughts & any additions are gladly welcomed :)

Snatch: Coolest boxing scene in a movie, and best British movie I've seen (although I've only seen like 2 others: Trainspotting and Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels)

Advertising Reaches A New Low

2005-10-22T19:42:00.000+03:00

I'm usually not one to watch local television networks (not because I feel superior or anything, but who are we kidding-they suck!) but I have no choice but to devote my attention to whatever my family watches after fo6oor since I'm too heavy to carry back to my room for another 2 hours. "NOW! I would lEEEEEEike to talk to youOUUUU abouUUUUtt some of the ThinGGGs that IIIIIII see on these SHOWS!!" (only funny if you've seen Eddie Murphy: Raw, and even then, not so funny..) I'm a big fan of good advertisements and while the ones I see on Al Rai aren't by any means flawless, they are somewhat interesting. So here are my thoughts on those 10 different advertisements they keep repeating all day (& please feel free to share your opinions-do these cheesy statements actually motivate you to write?):

1) MTC-Vodafone: I'm sure you must've seen the one where the guy runs out of credit on his phone and decides to play music for money-but not cash, credit; and so is able to avoid scarring his self image (I know, I overanalyzed these to death-but come on, I watch them every day!). I think it's a very cute concept, I mean it does happen to most of my cheap (or as they like to call it: economic) friends, and draws reference from those homeless guys tap-dancing for money in good old London, while maintaining some aspect of creativity. But I just gotta comment on the 40 something year old guy dancing to the music-in this day and age who the heck dances like that?! And in public?? And that look he gives him when he sends the message?? A look like that would freak me out if it came from my own father!! But it's still a decent ad in my opinion, and the 2nd part to it (where another credit-less fellow arrives & lends the assistance of his trusty bongos) adds some depth to it :) The other one where some guy does an eye exam and misinterprets the dr saying "7awil" as "cross your eyes", while also creative, is kind of lame. And if you noticed, he actually starts crossing his eyes before the dr says "7awil"-hey, after the 50th time you're bound to notice these things.. There are these newer ones where an old guy complains about zajil (booooring) and 2 Kuwaitis get a high 5 instead of a charge card (I guess I see your point) but I haven't seen these enough to judge them fairly. All in all, 2 (and a half) advertisements promoting the same concept is very cool indeed and the fact that I'm usually not nauseated by the end of the ad earns MTC-Vodafone a solid 4/5 (like they give a crap!)

2)Wataniya: "Yeah, yeah, ohhh yeah, what condition my condition was in..."-shakhbari! I haven't heard this song since the Big Lebowski soundtrack; and so can't help but feel that this song reeks of inappropriateness in such an ad! Don't get me wrong, the direction is very cool and well photographed and all that-but come one, Kenny Rogers?! Even Dale was more appropriate (don't worry, I'll get to that later)! Those 2 guys and the carpet are kind of funny, though. Now I realize I am somewhat biased by the song, and seeing that I still do sort of enjoy seeing it I'll give it a (meaningless) 4/5 :)

3)ABK: "Shighil 3adel!" "Shighil 3adel!" "Shighil 3adel!"-wallah, I'm sorry bes hel da3aya kilish moo "shighil 3adel"! 1/5 & consider yourself lucky!

4)NBK: "Yabeela!" "Yabeela!" "Yabeela!"-is it just me, our are the banks desperate for cheesy catchphrases all of a sudden? At least, unlike ABK, we're given 4 (& not 1) incarnations to spread the hate around, and the song ain't all that bad (dum dum dum..): 2/5

5)Petro-net: I don't think I'll ever fully understand this ad! But that schizophrenic guy with the toys does freak the hell out of me!! It's kind of like a 30 second horror movie, sound effects and all; and I like it :) 4/5

6)Sha'ab Leisure Park: I'm sure noone will agree with me but in my opinion this is the perfect ad & here's why: appropriate music, cool slowdown effects at the perfect times, that ECG (EKG) thingy going on is kind of interesting & serves its purpose (don't you feel like going now?!). 5/5 (and no, I'm not getting paid to say this.. sadly)

7)Souq Salmiya: I only saw this like twice, but come on it's funny! I mean yeah it does bring up some racial issues (okay, it screams it!), but the guy is so into it! And it's the only one that introduces ethical diversity, so 4/5 :)

8)Galaxy: This earns the award for most pornographic ad of the month-hands down! Damn, this woman is going to town with that candy bar!! Is she eating it, or using another port of entry?! Sorry, my bad :P 2/5 because I can somehow see this candy bar rekindling the flame in some dying relationships..

9)Dale-um..Sunsilk: I hate this ad to death and the song is annoying like hell, but I can't stop thinking about it! This is a good example of forced advertising at it's best, and sadly I'm obliged to give it 4/5 :( I hate you Don Omar.. (Does this ad even air on Al Rai? Oh well, I'll make an exception :P)

10)KMEFIK: "Ana 6ool 3mry nagooshy!"-well, I'm sorry buddy but you totally missed your target with this advertisement! I mean are we supposed to trust them just because they have a guy that can supposedly throw darts on target (oh, and apparently he's been gifted since he was a kid with marbles and a.. slingshot?!). And you call that a logo?! It looks like an archery club or something! It does make me laugh though-at them, not with them; but nevertheless 2/5 seems fair :P

So there you have it, 99% of the ads that keep cycling on Al Rai exposed in full :) At least now when you're confronted by these ads you'll have a whole new approach-criticism! What, you do that already? Oh well..

The Shawshank Redemption: one of those very few movies that actually lives up to the hype people set for it, & based on a Steven King novel too? Who'd of thunk it?

Me vs Traffic

2005-10-19T02:21:00.000+03:00

What is it about this country that urges people to drive like complete idiots? I can't recall a single time I actually drove somewhere without having to cuss the hell out of someone-and this includes 3am visits to the supermarket less than a minute away! Do they even issue driving tests anymore? Or is all you need a face? What pisses me off even more is that some of these daredevils will try to perform these impossible stunts in my vicinity, and then blame me when their insane plan fails! And I actually feel guilty because.. well that's me! What I really hate is these guys that'll drive their car right up your cars butt, and you don't even realize there's a car behind you because they're so damn close-um, excuse me but am I supposed to be intimidated or something? You actually think I'm impressed you can drive so close without crashing into me? I'm actually more impressed that an idiot like you has survived this long! But that's just me. I mean, I'm sure these people have fans that cheer them on every time they do a U-turn from the other side of the road or drive reverse on a friggin' highway! Otherwise they wouldn't exist, right? But my main annoyance by far has got to be these pointless slowdowns scattered all over the roads of this small enough as it is country! Don't get me wrong, slowdowns are bound to happen when alot of people are on the same road-that I do not mind; but when there's a sudden pile-up of cars followed by the emptiest street you could envision my mind goes haywire! Who the heck decided to slow his/her car down in the middle of an empty road for no reason whatsoever just so s/he could cause a pile-up miles away? And not just once, but every single damn day!! If I'm driving on a road and there's a pile-up, I pray that there's some logical explanation for this slowdown. The other day I actually cheered when I saw a car crash up ahead, amidst a seemingly endless traffic jam-no, not because I'm a sadistic asshole but because that could only mean smooth sailing from here-on out. But alas, more traffic! With intermittent speed zones!! But I mean if these traffic infested areas remained in fixed areas at fixed times, I guess I could get accustomed to that. But the other day one of the usually empty streets I take en route my morning destination was surprisingly packed. "There better be one heck of a catastrophe up ahead explaining this damn traffic!" I chanted repeatedly as I lay motionless for what seemed like hours. The road finally starts moving and then suddenly all the traffic is spread out and the road is empty once again! But what was the cause? A car crash? Nope. A check-point? Nope. Anything at all?? Well yeah, now that I think about it I do recall two policemen strolling casually on the sidewalk with another guy walking behind them-and he wasn't even wearing handcuffs! Are the citizens of this country that bored as they drive to work every morning?! Have they nothing better to attend to? Like the road, for example?! So this is my dilemma. How do I go about it? Swearing mostly, which doesn't really help seeing that it's Ramadan. Something I tend to do when faced with oncoming traffic is switch between lanes like a madman, but for some reason I always end up on the slowest lane! Sometimes I get so frustrated choosing between lanes that I actually take 2 and keep driving in between them until I make my mind up as to which seems the safest choice. But for some reason, no matter how many lanes I interchange that same damn old tan bus is always 10 feet ahead of me! And it's always there, mocking me as I struggle through the horrendous traffic-every single day! What, do we run on the same schedule?! But after all that, I actually end up making it to where I was headed a couple of minutes early! So why am I bitching so much about it? I don't know..

The Muse: One of those movies I can watch a million times and still laugh like a kid :)

'Twas Bound To Happen..

2005-10-18T19:22:00.000+03:00

Yeah, so I got tagged by Blasha, here goes nothing:

Three things I plan to do:
1) Watch the hundreds of movies I keep buying
2) Read the dozens of books I keep collecting
3) Burn those shows I keep downloading (& by downloading I mean purchasing, of course)

Three things I can do:
1) Find answers to dumb questions
2) Re-enact all of Friends & Kung Pow
3) Sleep like there's no tomorrow

Three things I can't do:
1) Find answers to important questions
2) Stop stealing stuff from television
3) Wake up on time

Three things I say most often:
1) "Ay shey!"
2) "Doooooh!" (the new duh)
3) "Whatever.."

Three people I want to pass this tag to:
1) It
2) Ends
3) Here!

Since everything's in 3's today, I'll make my exit with 3 (wow!) movies I liked:
1) Spanglish: solid acting, solid script, solid movie.
2) Zoolander: one look, three great actors, innumerable laughs.
3) Dirty Rotten Scoundrels: love this movie, love this movie, love this movie!

Illegal Scrabble: What Really Happened..

2005-10-14T03:09:00.000+03:00

I noticed that Satisfied Nina's post about "Illegal Scrabble" generated alot of buzz over here in blog world, so since I was also there I thought I'd tell my version of the story, exposing the truth.. Or maybe I'm just a little jealous from all the attention that post is getting-either way, here's what reaaally happened:

I arrived at the designated "sheesha place" at around 11pm thinking it would be like any other day, but something in my head (let's call it intuition) gave me the feeling it would end somewhat differently.. Nina had the look of vengeance burning brightly in her eyes, kind of like those vicious flames that engulf chestnuts as they patiently roast on that Arabic stove they use during this holy month (see how I went ahead and gave this story a Ramadan feel to it?) , but I tried not to pay too much attention to the look and just attributed it to her recent losses in the-apparently pretty popular-game of Scrabble. We finally decided to bring out the letters and unleash our mad vocab skillz but Nina (or so she calls herself) was conveniently too tired to play and said she had a slight "headache". I probably should've been more cautious, but heck I was too excited-come on people it was scrabble! I was literally on fire (okay, not literally literally) and started off with a solid 'levity'; and by the way it wasn't me who came up with 'vipe'-I was the one who refuted the silly term! Anyway, I was too engrossed in the game to be paying attention to my surroundings and I'm not trying to imply anything but I'm just saying that things could have been going on at the rest of the table without me being aware.. So time passes rather fast and before we know it a "waiter" apparently told some of the guys we should put the offensive game away-hmmm.. Was there an element of foul play going on here? I mean, didn't Nina mention that she usually "demands her rights"-why was today so different? But hey I'm not implying anything-I'm just saying...

p.s I may have exaggarated just a little bit :P

Scent of a Woman: Al Pacino can act! Whooha!!

Pros and Cons of Ramadan

2005-10-13T00:37:00.000+03:00

Pro: All you really do is sleep, eat.. then sleep again! What's not to like?? Oh yeah, the fasting bit..

Con: That fasting bit!

Pro: You basically have an excuse for anything you do or don't do, for example: "Why aren't you studying?", "Come on dad, it's Ramadan!"; "Why do you want to leave so early?", "But doctor, it's Ramadan!"; "What the hell made you think you could sleep with my wife?!", "Dude, it was Ramadan!!".. Okay, maybe not that last one.

Con: You basically get nothing done!

Pro: You pretty much have just one main meal a day (come on, who honestly wakes up for so7oor anymore?!), so you don't have to worry about gaining weight..

Con: ..Unless your fo6oor is one huuuuge meal, which it probably is, and you're left motionless for 2 hours after that eating binge!

Pro: Places stay open later..

Con: ..But they still serve the same crap!

Pro: Work starts around 9am!

Con: But that goes for (hhhh)everybody, making for one heck of a traffic fiesta each morning!

Pro: You're not supposed to swear and so allows you to finally commit to that "thou shalt not swear" oath..

Con: Hypoglycemia is one heck of a biotch, and you end up swearing 10x the amount you normally do!

Pro: You got all these over-dramatic Kuwaiti melodramas that you can tune into and watch everyday..

Con: They're cheesy, the acting sucks and is it just me or is the script always the same damn story?!

Pro: It's the time your family finally gets together and you see them pretty much every day..

Con: You begin to realize why you've been avoiding them ever since last Ramadan!

Pro: I finally have a subject to blog about!

Con: You just wasted 10 minutes of your life you'll never get back reading this!!

K-PAX: My favorite Kevin Spacey flick-and for the star of The Usual Suspects, American Beauty and The Life of David Gale that's saying alot!

Dale!!

2005-10-08T03:19:00.000+03:00

Here I am at 3:20am listening to the song that's all the rage! Yes you know it, the one where all the lavish girls wash their magical hair with sunsilk shampoo then wave it around like they're trying to shake a spider off their scalp or something: "Dale ... Dale ... Don Dale .. Dale.. (repeat)"-God bless the lyricist! The song is downright annoying, but I can't help but sing it-it's one of those annoyingly addictive songs.. So anyway all my friends have been stumped trying to find out what it's called so they can downlo-ehmm-I mean purchase it legally; but what's it called?? Dalay? Dalet? So for curiosity's sake I google "sunsilk ad" and to my surprise there's a bunch of posts asking for the name of the song! Guess the ad's pretty popular.. If you're one of those desperate people wondering if the song actually has a name, today is your lucky day: Dale Don Dale by Don Omar is what you've been habituating your ears to everytime those women go nuts! For some reason it's less captivating without those crazy women.. I Heart Huckabees: weird therefore interesting.

R.I.P Originality

2005-10-05T06:00:00.000+03:00

I always wonder whatever happened to inventing completely original things, I mean it seems that lately all that everybody does is modify already existing stuff: bigger televisions, smaller mobiles and wireless... Everything!! Come on people, tap into your creative chi!! What about invisible shoes, hair growth stabilizers and internal clocks?? I'll try and kick start the brainstorming with something I've been perfecting for a while now: the 2-way slipper!! Come on, don't you hate it when you're faced with a reversed slipper?? You always try to give it that perfect spin but end up overdoing it?? Then you decide to walk outside the bathroom backwards so that it's in the proper orientation the next time your bladder decides to give up?? I mean come on that's just nuts!! I propose you make a slipper that your feet can snuggle comfortably into from either direction; obviously some modifications will have to be made so that it's symmetrical-but there ain't no fashion show going on inside your bathroom people!! Well at least not in mine.. So I hope I've sparked some synapses in that forever untapped region of your brain, and should you decide to steal my idea-at least do it right!! There's Something About Mary: I love this movie!

And so it continues..

2005-10-02T15:07:00.000+03:00

Having glanced at some other blogs, I feel pressured into writing something meaningful or life-changing or whatever! My first hands on experience with writer's block! Ah yes, the exclamation point aka "!", without it stupid statements would remain stupid instead of appearing as harmless attempts at humor .. And the "..", which is basically another way of saying "I don't know how to end this damn sentence!" .. One signifies a punch line whereas the other signifies its absence .. You see this is the kind of crap I had to go through to finish Farenheit 451! Don't get me wrong it's a great book, but I always felt like I couldn't appreciate everything the author was trying to confer; guess I'm better off sticking to Dr. Seuss and the gang.. Anyway since I last "blogged" (I love that term!) I've been up to the same stuff, but played scrabble the other day, and I have to say it's got to be the most underrated boardgame ever!! No it's not, just trying to sound interesting, I mean I have all these thoughts but I mean what should I write?? I mean who cares?? You're probably reading this just so you can add to the critique your mind is already saturated with, but here I am on this chair trying to convey (yes-that's the word I was looking for instead of confer!!) something to an unknown audience.. Why am I complaining?? I feel that somewhere in the near future I'm going to become a schizophrenic-there I said it! And now I can move on! So anyway been watching this show called Roots (an old drama series about slavery), and I gotta say: so far kind of dull! Seriously, in my opinion there never was a better tv show than Friends-hands down! I can't remember a show I watched as compulsively, and I still watch episodes to this day! I mean even after all that obnoxious hype that ruined it for Titanic, I still respect the damn show! I'm sure there are those of you who will argue that Seinfeld was better-hey I love that show too, but I think that it had a major weakness, which was also its major draw: it was the show about nothing! I mean yeah that was smart but then there's no reason to keep watching! At least with Friends you were left wanting more and salivating with desperation at the end of each season!! And those liars I call friends (pun not intended) have the guts to say it wasn't all that, even when it was their trembling hands reaching out to grab those new episodes from me after they'd finally decided who the victor was! Yeah, I know I'll work on the "poetic with words" crap-you just keep reading! Kung Pow: Enter the Fist : proof that stupid can be very very funny indeed, nyaeaa!

And so it begins....

2005-09-27T22:33:00.000+03:00

Alright! Just heard about blogging and seems cool; don't know how long I'll be able to commit-don't even know if anyone's going to bother reading it! For those few who will attempt to tackle my mentality, be very patient! Won't bore you with information about myself, this isn't a path of self-righteousness or anything (does that even make sense?)! What do I do? Well I'm a medical student so I guess the answer to that is.. nothing! Which probably explains why I'm here! Why am I doing this? Never really had a proper diary to chronicle the endeavours of my lifetime, so I thought writing random stuff and posting it online may help dilute that emptiness-yeah I should probably warn you, I try to act poetic sometimes and use these metaphors... Oh wow, the pressure of entertaining! Are you already bored? Well that makes both of us! The first post is always the hardest (I hope), so I'm guessing next time won't be so dull! Want to thank (or if this doesn't go too well, blame) Lulu for telling me about this, and also Nermeen for making me an unknowing accomplice in her candle stealing frenzy! Want to sign off in a unique yet meaningful way-no I'm not going to quote writers or anything! Remember the blog title? Instead I'll just write the name of a movie I really liked and a sentence about it (I wonder how long that'll last). Pulp fiction: probably my favourite movie.