Licensed To Thrill, Bill & Hopefully Not Kill!

As the Genie from Aladdin would say: 'Seven (thousand) yeeeaars ... will give you such a crick in the neck!' It's been a looong road, & all summed up with 2 (somewhat disappointing) letter grades, you can't help but feel it's all pretty much arbitrary; but hey, if it doesn't kill you it only makes you stronger .. (Checks on biceps muscles) .. Or not! My humor's also taken a major blow, so bear with me dear readers!

Looking back, this journey has been one mixed bag of emotions-kind of like a Micheal Jackson song! (& it's back!) There's no way I could possibly chronicle all those memories in a single post, but would like shed light on the main (well, in my opinion) events. I realize the nostalgic value of such a post is reserved to team players such as doc lost, phatboy & possibly zizo, but hey I'll try & spice them up for your virgin eyes! Besides, some of these stories are probably funnier when you don't know how retarded we really are!

7 Learns To Rock - During a monotonous lecture of General Chemistry, me & a couple of friends decided to remedy our boredom by singing 'classics' from Michael Learns to Rock.. 50% into 'Strange Foreign Beauty' the 100% Kuwaiti professor throws our butts out of class! I still 100%'ed (well, almost) that class, though..

I'm Not Englishly Challenged - For the first couple of lectures in English 101 me & my Englishly un-challenged friends were allowed to leave 5 minutes into the class due to one simple fact: we actually spoke the language! Let's just say we weren't that popular..

I See Green - This one day, doc lost & phatboy (who, at the time, I actually thought were good people!) convinced me that it was totally okay for a guy to buy coloured lens.. Let's just say that the next day after going to college sporting 2 suddenly green eyes I came to the following conclusion: It is sooooooo NOT okay for a guy to wear coloured lens, here or anywhere else!

Low Budget Productions - Once that program that allowed Nokia phones to take videos came out, you best believe we took advantage of it! We started off making tonnes of videos with things 'disappearing'! But later on creativity kicked in & we started coming up with such classics as 'Dreams', 'Doctor, I have this stricture..' & 'Let's kill Babs'!

Stress-aholic - During those pre-exam periods my neurosis would explode into full mode & come up with countless ways of retarding my progress in studying! Let's see, there was this time I couldn't get songs out of my head, when my actual shadow over the desk would distract me from reading (where's Peter Pan when you need him?!) & numerous other neurotic dilemmas!

I Am Arabicly Challenged - After 5 years of completely English lectures & the rest of your life dodging all things Arabic, I can't say I was totally confident taking my first history from a patient in my 'native' language! Let's forget about the numerous 'badliyat' I threw; what I will always remember is that time when while trying to ask a guy how many palpitations he got each day, I ended up asking him whether or not he masturbated! For those not getting this, 'rag3a' is the term for palpitation & replacing the '3' with a 'l' is what this genius did! ... Maybe that's why he suddenly got another attack of his colitis shortly after our encounter..

Breakfast At Maternity's - Me & phatboy were coincidentally both still up at 5am one morning, & realizing that we had to be in the hospital in less than 3 hours we decided we go have breakfast at McDee's! I picked him up & we arrived there at 6am, but those 'Smiles Are Free' punks told us they don't start serving McMuffins till 7:30! Pissed off, we went to a local jam3iya & picked up what we felt was 2nd best: 'Jibn o Za3tar' & chocolate milk! As zizo would say: 'Cheeeeaaaaaapp!' :P But where did we eat?! We drove to the Maternity hospital (where we were currently stationed), parked on the filthy 'beach' & discussed whether that dog lying 10 metres away from my car was dead or not, whilst chowing down on our 100fils meal! Good times! :)

I'm No Tinman - During my Pediatrics rotation I took countless histories from kids & their mothers, but what I wasn't expecting was them to actually remember me! This one kid & his mom were in the hospital for quite a while, & each time I passed by she'd greet me & would refer to me as part of the medical team taking care of her son! It was at that moment that I realized this gruff male exterior (stop laughing those of you that have actually seen me!) houses a surprisingly emotional core :(

High Budget Productions - I finally got motivated (by friends, obviously) to buy a digital video camera, & while I haven't been abusing it to its full potential I will forever laugh my butt off watching 'MTV Cribs - 50 Fils' & 'Latino Lover'- HBP all the way!

Whaddup G? - I don't know what about me & my colleague (I'd say partner, but I think I've already crossed the threshold for acceptable queerness in this post!) screams ghetto, but for some reason any 'hip' doctor we're stuck with reverts to trash talk once we enter his visual field! Must be the way I grab my crotch while strollin' through the hospital wearing my gold labcoat..

I could go on but I doubt it would do my image much good :P Hope you enjoyed learning the truth about those 7 'stressful' years of medicine!

The Party: Ahh, simpler times..