Get It Made As A Maid!

I can't help but notice how ubiquitous maids are over here in the 'desert'. Not only that, but a good 90% of them come from the Phillipines, India or Indonesia. That's gotta be quite a big chunk out of their native population. Don't worry, this isn't going to be a super-racist post attacking them (although that would be apt revenge for all those clothes hangers that have gone missing!), but rather me musing about the whole concept. I'm sure that over there becoming a maid in a Middle Eastern country seems quite appealing.. Well until they arrive here & get a whiff of the mega-racist & degrading family that just 'purchased' them :P But how do you go about preparing yourself? Is there a book you buy? A course you take? Or do you just show up & learn from your (oh so many) mistakes?! I'm assuming the latter; but I gotta say a course for maids does sound pretty do-able. So without further ado here's my take on a 3 semester course that trains you vigorously & helps you get it maid!

1st Semester

Arabic 101 - basic words & gestures that help you get around
Excuses 101 - how to create a believable story
Is That Doodie?! - a step by step guide on how to neutralize the offense
Dealing With The Kuwaiti Mom - concentrates on yoga, anti-depressants & death threats
Stealing In Moderation - covers all the rookie mistakes & some covert training as well
Revenge Through Food - subtle techniques with lasting effects
Using Your Native Language To Your Advantage - how to insult them right in front of their faces without them even raising a brow

2nd Semester

Arabic 102 - how to converse fluently in the language & explores the different accents you may encounter
Excuses 102 - how to get yourself an alibi/s
Is That More Doodie?! - the different varieties & most effective approach for each
Dealing With The Kuwaiti Grandmother - more yoga, more anti-depressants & death techniques!
Places They Won't Look For Bruises - those damn kids are bound to tick you off sooner or later
What You Can & Can't Hide Under The Carpet - different carpets, different techniques
Finding Your Was6a - makes a huuuge lifestyle difference

3rd Semester

Arabic 103 - words they'd never expect you to know
Excuses 103 - going the whole 9 yards with the excuse!
.. What The Hell Is That?! - you'd be surprised
Dealing With The Kuwaiti Father - martial arts, kung fu & birth control
Planning Your Escape - acquaints you with the underground maid community (it does exist)
Prostitution - well, y'know..
Finding Your American Hubby - intimately linked with the former

Now it's your turn. Care to add any classes to the roster?

Spanglish: I've mentioned it before, but just seems appropriate putting it here, & it was a pretty damn fine movie after all :)